Friday, June 13, 2008

What I Need Right Now

Several people have asked me how they can help. A lot say, "just call and we'll be there for you". Well, in truth, it is hard for me to call right now to ask for help. It's all I can do right now to maintain daily life - taking care of my son, going to radiation and other appointments. When I do have time, I'm feeling angry or sad or alone. I'm trying to keep up my spirits. But it's hard and I need daily reminders, not just from myself, but from others, that I need to focus on what I'm thankful for - for what I do have and not on what I don't have.

So, my request is this: please call or email me. Invite me to coffee or for a walk or a hike or take me out to dinner. Offer to bring me over dinner.

I am having a hard time right now. I'm trying to come out of it and there are a lot of people who are trying to help me do just that. But, please, don't make me do the work of initiating contact. I appreciate it if you all initiate it - it takes me less energy to respond than to call you. I'm afraid of bothering you, you see, because I know that you all have your own issues. One of my friends may be losing his job; another has a troubled son; another has a mother who is getting more and more frail and a difficult sister; my family has their issues; another has a troubled daughter; another is facing bankruptcy. I don't want to bother you when I know you're dealing with all of that stuff because it makes me feel bad that I'm taking you away from what you need to deal with. And, I don't know when you are able to take on my stuff on top of it. That's why it's easier if you initiate the contact. I would appreciate it very much. Love, Dee


Jeanne said...

Dee--good for you for posting what you really need.

Sometimes it is so hard for cancer patients to make phone calls asking for help--it seems like ALL WE DO sometimes is ask for help, and it gets old. It's also embarrassing for those of us, like you, who are used to being the one who helps others.

I know you have a lot of traveling coming up, but please find a few days in there to come up to Seattle--we can play, or flirt with men in the red Corvair, and go out to eat--Japanese? Italian? Thai? Great restaurants in Seattle.



Dee said...

Thank you for this comment and validating what I had to say and also for inviting up to Seattle. Let me go on this next trip later this week and then settle down again and I will let you know when might be a good time.

I'm doing better. I'm learning to tap into a variety of coping skills - acupuncture, reiki, and letting friends know that I'm having a rough time seems to help. I don't think I've cried since Saturday. That's a good thing!