Of Big Toenails and Emotions

Huh? What do big toenails and emotions have in common?

Well. Softball, of course!!

We had another game last night (they're every Sunday night) and I played more aggressively last night than I have since the season started. For the first game, I was tentative because my throwing arm was tight and I wasn't sure how well I would throw. Well, it's loosened up and it feels fine to throw. But I ended up injuring my left big toenail - it turned black because it jammed in the front of the shoe when I had to stop all of a sudden. So, I have been playing tentatively and my mood (feeling lonely and sad) these past several weeks contributed to an overall less-then-stellar effort on the ballfield for my part. I didn't want to reinjure my toe and it was just hard to be there.

Yesterday evening, though, I felt better, happy to be there even though I'd sat three hours in the sun for graduation, and more confident about my abilities. But we only had 7 players to start the game. They had 10. And, whaddya know? We actually were either tied with them or were within 2 or 3 runs until the 5th inning. That was when they got ahead by 5 and we couldn't quite catch up. Overall, I was 4-for-6 batting and I threw out a runner at 2nd. We lost 17-12, I think. But since I felt better emotionally, I played more aggressively. Guess I'm an emotional player.

Unfortunately, though, during the game, I jammed my RIGHT toenail into the front of my shoe. When I took off my socks, there was blood.

So, last night, I soaked my feet in Epsom Salts (one website said that this is something one can do for black toenails). When I dried off my left foot, I accidentally snagged the end of the left toenail . . . and the whole thing pulled straight up, with only the back edge attached to the cuticle! Gave me the heebie-jeebies to see my toenail like that, but it didn't hurt at all. Just the thought, you know?

My right toe was weeping through the night and this morning, so I decided that I should go to Immediate Care and see what I should do about these toenails. First, she said she'd take off the left one and since it didn't seem to bother me much when she manipulated it, she just yanked it off. I didn't watch. Ew. But it hurt less than it hurts when you pull a hair out of your head.

She said the right toe is still pretty tightly attached on one side and not attached on the other and as long as it isn't infected, I should just watch it and see what it wants to do.

She said that it would take a year for the left toenail to grow back. And, to use moleskin and/or bandaids to protect those toes when wearing shoes.

I am definitely buying new softball shoes. Obviously, the new ones I bought are not good for me. Bummer deal.

You know how sometimes softball players have nicknames? Just call me "8 1/2 Toenails" or something like that.

Oh yeah. The doctor told me that I could go ahead and play sand volleyball. Cool.