Thankful for Family and Friends

With everything going on with my dad (who received a the permanent pacemaker yesterday evening), I must report that I'm thankful that my siblings have taken on a bigger role in taking care of my parents. That's a good thing since I'm still anemic and get tired in the evenings.

I've also stayed busy hanging out with friends and family.

On Monday, I had lunch compliments of the colleague whose class I taught in - thanks, M., for lunch!

On Tuesday, I had lunch at the hospital while I was getting my infusion, but it wasn't enough so then I had lunch at McMenamin's (no, O'Callahans, no, McGillicuddy's, no O'Flanahan's; LOL, Reen!) with my sister, who bought lunch for me! Thanks, Reen!

I was going to go visit dad Tuesday evening, but my godmother (my godparents arrived yesterday after a bowling tournament in Reno so they could visit Dad) told me I looked tired and should stay home. So, I did. I still paid bills, though.

On Wednesday, I had acupuncture, then lunch with a friend from high school (Thanks, L., it was fun getting caught up!). I was pretty tired after school and into the evening. I still had dinner with another friend, B., at McGrath's. Yummy!

Today, I met with Dr. K., who agreed that I shouldn't wait until April 22nd for surgery. So, he was able to get hold of the surgeon at OHSU, who reported that he was trying to find a different plastic surgeon who could get me in sooner. In the meantime, I've been putting turmeric spice on the dressing and, while I have no empirical evidence, I tend to think it's helping to slow the growth of the damn thing under my armpit.

I also broke part of a tooth under a filling a few weeks ago, so I finally got into the dentist today (canceled last week because I had a fever). The decay was further back than expected, so they may have gotten close to a nerve. Because I'm on Zometa, it's very difficult to do root canals or extractions as the bone doesn't heal. We don't want to have to go that far, so we really have to watch my teeth for signs of decay to make sure it doesn't get far enough to need a root canal or extraction.

This evening, I'm having dinner with a grad student whose been working for me. That'll be fun to get caught up.

In the meantime, my dad is due to come home this afternoon. My colleague, K., offered to let us use her recliner for awhile, while dad recuperates. (Thanks, K.!! It is much appreciated.) My brothers made room for the recliner by taking apart the futon couch - we put the mattress under Eddie's loft bed and the frame is out in the garage. (Sheesh, someday, I would love either more storage space or to do another decluttering effort.)

Tomorrow, I meet with another grad student who works for me and will have lunch with a colleague about our spring term course.

So, life continues to be busy. I am thankful to family and friends - family for taking care of my folks, to friends for their company, and to colleagues for their ongoing support. Thank you!

Vegas from Mon to Wed, OHSU on Thurs, Cabin Fri to Sun

A few weeks ago, as I was chatting with my Hawaiian friend and colleague on the phone, I invited myself to visit with her and her family when they are in Vegas this coming week. I leave tomorrow afternoon and come back Wednesday evening. We plan to see Cirque Du Soleil Zumanity and also go to Red Rock Canyon. We need to tie up some loose ends from the Hawaiian workshop, too.

While I was in Portland, I got a call from the doc's office at OHSU - I will see him and the plastic surgeon (a female) on Thursday afternoon. I'm not sure how quickly they can work me in for surgery, but I'll know more next week.

Then on Friday evening, I head to a cabin in the woods with my coauthor - we are writing a paper called Seabirds of King Island. It'll be good to have that time to chat together.

And, I have two applications due March 1st and one on March 7th.

Dad had chest pains the whole time we were in Portland, so she went to the ER last night. They've run all kinds of tests, all came back negative (or normal) until the stress test today, which she couldn't finish. The doctor also listened to various arteries and heard abnormalities, so they suspect it's angina or clogged arteries in her heart. They will do an angiogram tomorrow to be sure and then they will decide to do.

It's gonna be an interesting week . . .

A Treatment Plateau?

In the last week or so, I began to think that I've reached a treatment plateau. I say this because in the last couple of weeks I have had some new satellite lesions that have cropped up around the wound and they don't seem to be shrinking or disappearing. In fact, a couple seem bigger, but that may be due to inflammation (which can be a good thing - a sign that my immune system is sending Herminator-2 cells there to do battle). I think it is inflammation because my whole shoulder joint is feeling tight and swollen and is becoming more achey. But maybe the satellite lesions are bigger because they are growing - we just don't know for sure. In the end, the dramatic changes and reductions in the tumors that I had in October and into November seem to be slowing down. Darnit!

I think I'm reaching a plateau with Abraxane because I don't have as many white blood cells - the total numbers of white blood cells is about 1/3 (or a bit more) than what they were before I started Abraxane. So there are less Herminator-2 cells running around killing the cancer cells. I had one idea which I brought to my doc's office, which was to let me go off Abraxane for a few weeks and allow the Herminator-2 cells to grow again. But as my oncologist's nurse practitioner staed, we don't know that that would work, so I risk tumor progression whereas we do know Abraxane is working at some level.

Then, to top it off, my side effects, which were relatively minor to begin with (digestive issues, acne) seem to be getting worse. The fatigue is about the same and of course I'm still bald. But the constipation seems to be lasting longer, and over the last week, my kidneys were achey, which tells me that my body is finding harder to flush the toxic chemicals out of my body. The herbs are helping - my acupuncturist put me on a new one last week, but it took me a couple of days to figure out the best way to take it. She said not to take it in capsule form, but to either swallow the powder with warm water or to steep it as a tea over night. By the time I got into a new habit with steeping it overnight, I was constipated. My face has also been breaking out quite consistently in the last week.

So, I'm already thinking of what to do next or one option is to add something to my treatment regimen in addition to the Abraxane. The UW Tumor Vaccine Group has another clinical trial for skin mets, which combines Abraxane with Imiquomod, which is an ointment that has been used with melanoma (I think). I don't want to travel to Seattle, however. I would have to be in Seattle for the first treatment for at least a week. I can't afford that right now.

Dr. D. from UW did say that Dr. K would be able to administer Imiquomod here as it is an FDA approved drug. I see Dr. K next week, so my plan is to have him call Dr. D and see if maybe I could add this to my regimen. That is, of course, if he agrees that the satellite lesions are not disappearing.

I also see the surgeon and the wound care nurse tomorrow. I will say that the overall wound is healing, slowly but surely, it's just the satellite tumors that are worrying me. Maybe the surgeon or the nurse have some ideas . . .

It could be that I'm already becoming tired of Abraxane. I am starting to get tired of being bald and the acne and the digestive issues are annoying This Friday, I will have finished three cycles of Abraxane. I will be halfway done. I think the weekly schlep to get an infusion is getting to me - even though the nurses are great. But I get tired, both literally and figuratively, of not sleeping. I think that as long as I had such an impressive response, the side effects seemed minimal, but as they get a little bit worse and I'm not responding like I was, it's getting old.

I also admit that the work stress has been greater lately - trying to put in an application for release time, a grant proposal, and changes to an article, not to mention teaching the class, grading papers, and now recommendation letters, etc. - it's been a really busy few weeks. Productive, but stressful because of deadlines. I wanted to get another grant proposal out this week, but it's not working out that way. I think it's time to lower my expectations and take a break for a couple of weeks. The point is that the work stress may be contributing to my decreased response with Abraxane.

And, there's financial stress. I keep getting statements from Samaritan Health Services - even though I've met my out-of-pocket maximum, their billing office has consistently forgotten to post an insurance adjustment on my account, so each month, I get bills for $100 or $200 or $300. This means I have to call them, tell them they are missing an adjustment, and verify that I don't owe them money. To top it off, I had my teeth cleaned a few weeks ago; usually insurance pays for this, but it turns out that my dental insurance will only pay a maximum amount each year. I reached that maximum after my crown this summer, so after the fact, I found out that I owed $200 for a teeth cleaning. So, I paid that bill, which meant less for Christmas spending. I also admit to spending more than intended for Christmas . . . so money is tight. I haven't been extravagant. I bought some presents for the Giving Tree tags. I also went to the coast for the night last weekend. I didn't spend much there, but I guess it all adds up. A couple of months ago, I think I figured out that I've spent about $5,000 in medical expenses this year. My $1,000 out of pocket, plus the trips to Seattle (even though I got about $1500 in donations, I probably spent maybe an additional $750 or so), plus over $1,000 in dental, plus acupuncture, wound care dressings, herbs and supplements and mileage. It all adds up.

Okay, enough whining. Time to live in the moment and enjoy the holiday. Let go of stress. I need my immune system to be working at an optimal level. Stress doesn't help!

Busy busy busy Part 2

This week continues to be busy - both at work and holiday happenings. I had two appointments on Wednesday morning and then did a bit of work in the afternoon. I picked up Eddie from school and rested, and then I went to a holiday gathering at the Center for the Humanities and then to the OSU Bookstore sale for faculty and staff. I am done with my holiday shopping; well, except for Eddie's Secret Santa gift at school.

The holiday party at the Center for the Humanities was fun - good food and wine - because I was able to chat with colleagues I didn't know. It's always good to get to know other people.

The books at the bookstore sale were 30% off as was the clothing. I found a couple of Giving Tree gifts and then found a pasta cookbook which was on sale for $5 and with the 30% discount, it was $3.50! I love that kind of sale! Dad says he wants to start cooking more pastas . . .

Yesterday, I had a free morning, so I finished up a course proposal and graded all but the last assignment for my class. All that's left now is grading the last assignment, which I hope to do today and get my grades in.

I had lunch with this man I met through match.com yesterday - we had lunch last Saturday and it went pretty well. It was a fun conversation on Saturday, discussing everything from astronomy to reincarnation to meditation to diet to my work. Yesterday, we talked more about his work and autism. I'm not sure when we might get together again . . . at the very least, our conversations are interesting!

The Dean's office had a holiday party so I visited with a few people there and then some of my female colleagues and I got together for Happy Hour. Really interesting conversation about politics on campus. I stayed out too late - didn't get home until about 7:45pm. So, I'm tired today.

Just got my labs back and my blood counts are all good, so I'll be getting Abraxane today. After grading some papers and making travel plans for Hawaii in February, I plan to pack for an overnight trip to the Coast. It's my friend's birthday. My friend, her dog Shika, Eddie, and I are driving over after school today. We're going to Florence and the plan is to go to Lincoln City tomorrow to take Eddie to the children's arcade at Chinook Winds, but we're supposed to get another visit from the Pineapple Express - i.e., lots of rain that is apparently from Hawaii due to La Nina - so we'll see if the weather cooperates. The coast is supposed to get 3-5 inches of rain in the next day or two. It may cause landslides or washouts on the road. I'll monitor the situation and see what happens . . .

Well, I guess I better do some work. I want to avoid grading papers . . . but the sooner I finish them, the freer I'll feel!

Busy busy busy

I've had a busy few days.

I couldn't sleep well on Friday night - thanks to the steroids - so I was tired on Saturday. I relaxed a bit on Sat., then had a date for lunch, then it was home again to rest. Even though I was tired, though, I had some work to do. I had som edits to do for a co-authored article, then I drafted an application for research release time and wrote up a blurb for the King Island website for a newsletter. I even typed up everything.

Got a decent night's sleep on Saturday night. I decided since I had worked all afternoon and evening on Saturday that Sunday was a day of no work. So, mom and I picked out some gifts for two tags I got from Eddie's school's Giving Tree. I also had to return a pair of pants I bought for Eddie that were too big. Then, Eddie's dad dropped him off at Kohl's and then we went home. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening beading and we also watched movies. Harry Potter movies were on one of the satellite channels and then dad got the Sorceror's Apprentice. That was fun.

On Monday, I edited the release time application and got the necessary signatures and submitted it to the Research Office, then I typed up a letter of support for a colleague, and then edited various pieces of the grant proposal - and then that got submitted! Yay!

I also had a faculty meeting on Monday afternoon. We were trying to figure out what the new chain of command was - and who was responsible for what - but in the end, I don't think much got settled. As far as I'm concerned, it's out of my control. If there is anything I need to do, I just ask before I do it. That way, I'm covered. I figure I'll wait for the dust to settle and not get too stressed out about things. Keep a low profile, in other words.

Didn't sleep as much as I wanted last night and we got up early to go to Shriner's Hospital - Eddie had an appointment. In the end, we're not going to do anything although we may, in the future, do surgery to stabilize his right foot. We finished earlier than expected, then looked around downtown, had lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings (where Eddie played a trivia game), and then spent three hours at OMSI. We all enjoyed our time there! We didn't get home until 5:45pm - so a really long day. Poor Eddie had some homework - he's been at it ever since. He's coming down with a cold.

Tomorrow, acupuncture and wound care. Then, a meeting on the new Native American Cultural Center, then grading papers. In the evening, a holiday get-together at the Center for the Humanities and then the OSU bookstore sale. I still need to finish my beading project.

So, I continue to be busy. I am trying to give myself a chance to rest . . . kinda hard with so much going on at work and for the holidays. But it seems that I have the energy to do all the work . . .

A big thanks to my folks for cooking dinner and grocery shopping and cleaning. I wouldn't be able to do all that work if it weren't for your help!

Play Day Today

Yesterday, I wrote 5 pages on a grant proposal and drafted the budget. I also had lunch with a friend - yummy Indian food! But later, my stomach felt a little bloated or full. I guess it's off from the Abraxane? It's better today.

Since I worked yesterday, today was a play day. So, mom, dad, and I went to Spirit Mountain Casino - played some slots and ate at the buffet; I had yummy salmon. I tried not to eat too much thinking that maybe if I erred for less food, I'd be less likely to feel bloated. I donated money to the Grand Ronde. Not much. Figure I have probably broken even over all in the last couple of months.

Then, we picked up Eddie. And, we've been relaxing ever since. Did laundry. I need to read some for class tomorrow. I needed to pick up some more dressings and spent $45 on them today. Sheesh. Having a wound is expensive business.

Tomorrow? Get ready for class, then have class, then off to the hospital for my P.A.S. port. Tuesday? We take Eddie to Doernbecher's for his Marfan's check-up. I see wound care on Wednesday and will also have acupuncture in addition to class. Then, Abraxane on Thursday. Puttin' on the Pink next Saturday. A busy week ahead, that's for sure!

What I Did Last Week-end

I had a busy week-end, as usual.  Eddie was with his dad.  I had a softball game on Friday (we lost 17-9, but it was fun) and then we went to a teammates' new house. It's really nice with some pretty updates! I was up past midnight that night . ..

And, then Saturday, I ran to the Dollar Tree and got some supplies for Eddie's birthday party on the 24th.  Then, dad, Scotty, mom and I worked to declutter the house - since it was rather warm out to be working outside.  We rearranged furniture in the front room and brought some things out to the garage, then we decided to give away old textbooks.  We managed to give ourselves a bit more room and we got a lot of things off of counters and other surfaces.  Then, we reorganized the books in my parents' room.  Then, I went to my friends' house to play cards and hang out on a warm summer evening.  Yay!

Sunday, I cleaned, did some touch-up paint work in my bedroom, then attended a friend's daughter's birthday party, then took some stuff to my office, and played softball (we won 10-3!).  Whew!  I was tired and I'm still tired today.  I think that I must've ended up with caffeinated diet pepsi instead of caffeine-free diet pepsi last night. 

Today, Eddie had a swimming lesson, then I did some work at home, then I had physical therapy, then worked in my office and wrote some emails.  I need to work on my chapter summary on the Inupiaq/Yup'ik view of Alaska Statehood!  I need to send in revisions next Monday! 

So, a productive time.  I plan on relaxing at Cathie's!

Dilemmas

At the end of the week, I was feeling overwhelmed at work - I received a lot of requests for things to do, which kept getting in the way of the things I planned for myself to do.

Among them was an invitation to participate in a panel review for NSF's Graduate Research Fellowship. The only thing is that I'd have to leave on March 1 for a three-day meeting and read 30+ proposals before then. Then, there's the travel fatigue, long working days (8amk to 5pm) with dinner afterwards. It's intense work. I'd get compensated but I'm not sure that it's worth the tax on my health. Plus, I'd have to cancel a couple of appointments. It's a chance for good net-working. Maybe I'll offer to help out . . . if I can do it by teleconference and may do a limited number? I don't know.

Also, I'd sent an abstract in for the State of the Arctic conference - a lot of papers on climate change and they're working on including human dimensions aspects - which is Miami in mid-March. I hadn't planned on going because I had limited travel funds and I thought I'd save that for Norway in September. But another opportunity for travel funds has come up, so maybe now I can go to it. The other day, I looked at the schedule and a lot of big names in Arctic research (both hard and social sciences) are presenting. Again, it's an intense few days of meetings, but good networking. But again, it would be long days and a long day traveling before and after - so fatigue is a factor. I'd also be gone for about 4 days. The good thing is that I don't have anything scheduled that week in terms of appointments.

As I said earlier, I was feeling quite overwhelmed on Friday - not quite knowing how I might get everything done. How did I cope? By relaxing on Friday night, taking Eddie and his classmate and mom to Lincoln City for the day yesterday (absolutely beautiful!), then a hike with Cat, Kai, their dogs, and Eddie this morning, and running errands with mom this afternoon (checked out the new Trader Joe's in town, grocery shopping, then the never-ending hunt for pants that are long enough for Spagedward, but which also fit him around the waist).

So, it's been a good weekend, lots of fresh air and sunshine that cleared the brain. I (almost) forgot about all that's expected of me at work and now that I look at it again, it's not that bad - it's doable. I'm still debating my two dilemmas. Hmmm, what to do? What to do?

I was feeling a little blue last week, after the Herceptin treatment, because of how fatigued I felt for a couple of days and also because of the swollen lymph nodes under my left arm. Both have limited my activities and made me wonder about how it will affect my future activities, so I was sad that I have to face those limitations. I tried to look at it from another perspective: most of my life, I've been really really active (I have a "yang" personality according to Chinese medicine), always on the go. So, maybe it's my time to slow down and my treatments are helping me (ahem, forcing me) to rest. Then, by Friday, I was feeling more or less normal and this week-end, I felt relatively normal. So, I think if I just plan to have a couple of days where I take it easy after the treatments, and remember that I can have a relatively normal life afterwards, it'll be easier next time.

I will note that by Friday, when I had energy, I was hungry all day. I ate a lot. That happened to me after the last Herceptin treatment - after the fatigue faded, I was all of a sudden really hungry all the time. I think my body, after it's knocked down a bit by the drug, is trying to replenish my stores. The trick, next time, is to try to replenish it with something other than sweets! But that's what I was craving - carbs, carbs, and more carbs.

Well, have a great evening! Happy Monday tomorrow.

From the frying pan and . . .

into the fire! Actually, I'm just joking. I was so busy at AFN, got home Sunday evening and yesterday, I hit the ground running at work. Students needing recommendation letters, students needing clarification on assignments, paperwork for the travel, scheduling meetings, writing responses to emails, following up on things from the trip, teaching my folklore class, meeting with various people, escorting international students to give a guest presentation at my son's school, etc.

Good thing I did qigong last night. It helped to center me. One of my classmates in qigong is so focused on getting it right, but by focusing on getting it right, she's missing the point of just doing the movement and getting used to how it FEELS. That's more important. It's kinda nice to be on the other side of intellectualizing it (like I did when I first started over a year ago) and more on the experiencing side of it.

I'm also happy that the fact that I'm able to do it means that I'm mostly over the flu/cold bug that I had. Yay!

Well, someone agreed to do an interview via the phone with me tonight. So, I best get organized for that. It's one of those follow-ups from last week.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

P.S. Promised pictures will come soon - hopefully this week?

Week-end Happenings and Article News

So, what should I tell you first? The good news or the really good news? I'll tell the really good news first.

The article that I worked very hard on last week and the week before was accepted! It will be published in AlterNative, an indigenous peoples journal, in November! I'll get the paper copy sometime that month! Woo hoo!

This does a lot to boost my confidence . . . I have this inferiority complex when it comes to submitting and getting peer-reviewed articles published. Sooo . . . yay!

The other good news is that I spent the week-end with one of my oldest friends, Paula, and her husband, Dwight. I met Paula on my first job after I received my undergraduate degree 23 years ago (WHAT!! Incredible that it was 23 years ago! Sheesh - that must mean I'm getting old, eh? LOL). They live in K. Falls - it was fun to just hang out and visit and talk. Paula and Dwight like to cook, so I always eat really really well when I'm there. Good, healthy food. They're into recycling, local food movements, organic gardening, and foraging on the landscape, whether it be huckleberries or sunstones or what have you. Great fun. Interesting people.

Well . . . time to chill out. Hope you all had a great week-end!

A busy few days

What have I been up to? Lots of fun, mostly.

Saturday - garage sale, then the bachelorette party

Sunday - ran errands, then went to a baby shower, then spent 3 or so hours grading papers, then my softball game, then to the pizza place to hang with teammates, then another 2 hours grading papers

Monday - up early, graded most of the papers, took Eddie to my folks, then I had an acupuncture appointment, then I finished grading papers and submitted my grades by the noon deadline, then Eddie had a dentist appointment, then home where I completed a report for NSF, then it was hanging with Eddie in the front yard while he played on his slip-n-slide, then to the pizza place to wait with teammates for our v-ball game, then we played v-ball.

What's coming up this week?

Tuesday - make travel arrangements, clean up my desk, gather materials for my trip, then take leftover things to Eddie's childcare for their summer garage sale, pack for trip

Wednesday - leave for Reagan National for a meeting at the National Science Foundation

Thurs - meeting at NSF

Fri - meeting at NSF, then fly home

Sat - a former student invited me to her son's first birthday barbecue, then a wedding reception

Sun - barbecue at my softball friends, then an early softball game

Mon - rest? : )

I'm just glad I can do it all - my stomach issues seem to have resolved and I have energy again. Yay!

Take care everyone!

Ticking Things off that To-Do List

This week was fairly productive in terms of work. I managed to get my supplemental request in and a couple of interviews done for the Alaska Statehood project, and my travel arrangements to Norway completed.

Next week, I need to hopefully find a couple more people to interview, work on the placename density article, grade take-home exams, and write up a proposal to OSU Press.

Then, there's organizing next term's Tan Sack lectures, nominations for college-level awards, following up on my task for next October's tribal conference (figuring out how to offer attendees college or continuing ed credits), meeting with grad students, and developing criteria for some grad student support.

It's never-ending, and other than the grad student support stuff, they were all things that were on my to-do list. So, it's a good thing because I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.

Yay!