Alien Hickies Again

I had an acupuncture appointment yesterday and because of how I've been feeling lately, Brodie decided to do cupping to acupressure points that have to do with the lung meridian or lung chi. I've been feeling pretty lonely. Between breaking up with my partner, going on a date that wasn't quite right, and then starting radiation therapy this week, I just felt all alone - all my friends are married, none have cancer, and I feel like I'm navigating this whole cancer thing all alone. At any rate, this particular treatment is supposed to help release those negative emotions. So, now I have alien hickies again and I do feel somewhat better! : )



My friends yesterday and today (thanks, by the way to Andrew, Tammy and Rick, and Scott) reminded me that I am not alone and that I can call on them any time and that it's okay to miss my partner, that I shouldn't have to navigate cancer by myself and also that's okay to need someone to just cuddle with sometimes. So, I feel a bit better . . . My family has been great, too, but I still wish I had a partner.

Update on Alien Hickies : )

I forgot to mention yesterday that on Monday night, after I had the "cupping", I slept really really hard - two four-hour stints, which is unusual for me. Last night was more my typical night - I think I woke up 2-3 times. Part of what my acupuncturist is trying to do is to help my body "retreat" (including sleep) so that it could heal. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while my neck looks funny, I think I had a better night sleeping overall because of the cupping.

And, my skin is continuing to heal, although the open wound seems to be weeping more. My guess is that because the wound is still open, and as I do lymph massage underneath the implant, I might actually be massaging the backed-up lymph out of the wound - I'm directing the lymph fluid down and toward the center of my torso, but backed up fluid could really go anywhere to drain and the open wound is a path of least resistance.

Since I've been doing lymph massage in that area under the implant, it seems that the red is starting to fade again (it had gotten more red after I painted the bathroom). Both my massage therapist and the radiation oncologist asked whether or not the red rash was really cancer cells or whether it was red from swelling/lymphedema. It's probably both and no one really knows. This just really shows the limitations of our knowledge of what's going on here.

Still no word yet on when I start radiation. It looks like it may be next week. I do think I have a couple of new little skin tumors growing - hard little nodules under the skin - so I think radiation is the best course to get rid of that.

Yes, I met a handsome alien!

First, let me thank Bev for giving me a new title for this post!! (It was originally, "No, I don't have hickies on my neck!") She was joking with me about them, so I thought I'd share the joke.

So, yeah, I have hickies on my neck - both sides in fact. And, it was a handsome alien. Really. Truthfully.

Not.

Really, though, I had an acupuncture appointment today and as part of the treatment, Brodie did what is referred to as "cupping" (see http://www.itmonline.org/arts/cupping.htm). She applied the technique to my neck, on both sides, to try to release heat. I told her that for the past few days, I've felt more dehydrated than usual and have been drinking a lot of water. My lips also feel really dry. The treatment was supposed to release that heat and also some of the powerful emotions - mostly sadness and disappointment - that I felt last week. The emotions were still hanging on. With traditional Chinese medicine, the goal isn't necessarily to rid yourself of the emotions, but rather to make sure you allow yourself to feel them and then let them pass through you, instead of burying them within yourself where they could fester. When you hold on to them, your body diverts some of your own energy to either containing them or dealing with them, so when you release it, your body is better able to spend its energy, or more of its energy, on other things, like in my case, say, fighting and ridding my body of cancer.

So, yep, I have these red circular hicky marks on the sides of my neck. Wonderful, eh? And, no, I'm not seeing anyone right now! Even if I was, I don't do that hicky thing.

And, I do feel better. I feel calm and on an even keel and in a fairly good mood, especially since it's beautiful and sunny (70 degrees or so) and most of my lilacs have bloomed and I can see some iris buds out there, too. Dad's been working on my yard and it's looking pretty good. Thanks, Dad!