Didn't sleep as well

I didn't sleep as well last night so I think I am going to lay down and rest again. I took two dilaudid about an hour ago and it is catching up to me.

My shoulders are extranachey this morning and I think the dilaudid is finally kicking in and helping.

I ended up with bloody urine again lad night. Now I think it might be related to diet pepsi. I had one Sunday and ended up with bloody urine through the night. Inhad one yesterday and now I am having it again. So no more diet pepsi or Ibuprofen at least for the next week or so. And more rest.

I need to pay bills later today. But rest first. My last WBR is today. Thank god. Mom wanted to celebrate but I think that needs to wait until I have more energy and maybe less pain.

I may be really tired now and not doing much. But on the whole, I think I am doing much better than many. If I can get through the next few weeks, I can start gaining strength and energy. Then the attention will be on keeping this crap under control. I have a son to raise.

I am just happy that my family is here to help me so much. Seriously. All I do is go to radiation, eat, sleep, and rest.thank goodness for family to help!

A new symptom

After a weekend of rest from radiation, I hardly have any nausea. I do, however, have more pain in my necks and shoulders, mostly left but some right, too. So sometimes I take another dilaudid, which is in acceptable limits. It says to take one pill every 1 to 3 hours for pain. I usually take one every four hours. But last night, aboutn3am, I took dilaudid, the anti nausea med. And Tylenol and ended up with bloody urine since about 4:30am. Thisnhappened twice last week, too, so I stopped taking Ibuprofen (did take a dose yesterday afternoon). I hope it is just a combo of meds on. Nearly empty stomach, ut will talk to the nurse today, especially if the bleeding persists.

Only three more sessions of WBR. And 16 more of the arm. Hope the arm pain starts fading more later in the week. I think if I can get through this week, I should start going up on the energy front. Now, I eat, watch TV, rest, sleep or nap, and rest.

Eddie is home and I am glad for that. He stutters less here than with his dad and seems to enjoy just being his own company. My folks have said that they will try to take him on some outings a couple of times a week while I rest from the treatments.

Continued taking it easy

I am continuing to take it easy. Dad and Scott continue to work on the deck - it wile really cool when it's done! Mom and dad are out running errands. I am finding it harder to find movies on TV today, but they are there.

I slept okay last night, too, although my TV was on most of the night. Seems like I might wake up every couple of hours, fill my glass with ice, and eat some fruit snacks. Seems like these fruit snacks work really well for me.

I think the Dilaudid is making me constipated, but better that than feeling pain. Will get Chinese herbs to help with that.

My neck and shoulders really hurt when I woke up about 10pm last night, so I lowered my pillow and that helped for today. Still used a lot of heat to loosen up.

I get tired every time I take Dilaudid, but that is better than not sleeping.

I didn't even take a Zofran today. Let's see how ling that'll last.

It is a sunny day, but not as hot as yesterday, thank goodness. Seems to make my lymphedema worse. But resting as my doctors ordered.

Dilaudid helps with sleep

I got a lot more sleep last night. I started taking Dilaudid every four hours for pain, but it also makes me drowsy, so I sleep more, especially at night.

I do have nausea, so I take Zofran regularly and I eat lots of little meals. I hope that after 8 more sessions of WBR, then I can begin weaning off the steroids - the docs say the swelling goes down after a day- which I am keeping at 6 mg per day if I can, of the Decadron. 6 is better than the 16 I was on. I will deal with a little bit of nausea in exchange for going on more steroids.

I don't know what to expect with the arm, although the doctor said to make sure I take Dilaudid within a an hour of doing radiation. She said itmwill get worse before it gets better.

But at least I feel like I am doing something active for the tumors in my grain and armpit.

I expect that TDM-1 trial in Stockton, if I am eligible for it, won't take place until late September, if at all. Rumor has it, though, that Genentech hopes to have FDA approval for the drug to be give to patients in their home clinics by the end of August.

In the meantime, I am just glad I slept. Even if it makes me tired each day. I just rest and watch a lot of movies on TV.

I do have more numbness in my right arm - the three fingers and now into my right forearm a bit. I try to stretch that arm frequently. I am also back to wearing a compression sleeve on my left arm, although I don't go far up my left ATM, to leave the field clear for radiation. My eyes are also having a tough time seeing thongs up close, so between them and my arms, I don't stay on the computer much. I may have to get bifocal lenses.

Still need to work on financial matters, like insurance for me and Eddie beginning October 1. He is covered also by his dad. I will need to work on that next week.

It is much better to feel positive when I feel better. As my acupuncturist says, I am strong, even when I cry. Just glad Eddie is back East with his dad right now while Iam feeling even more under the weather. I hope I feel stronger next week when he returns home. Best not to look to far into the future right now and take things day by day.

A lot going on

On Monday the 25th, I saw Dr. K, the next day, I saw the nurse, on Wed, I saw the radiation oncologist, and yesterday, I saw the plastic surgeon in Portland. The end result is that there are a couple of smaller tumors growing under my left arm, near the armpit. So we did a planning session today and will start Radiation to both the brain and the arm on Monday. I have 8 more sessions of whole brain radiation and 15 more sessions of the arm. I am about ha
Way done with whole brain radiation.

30 days after radiation, I will have another brain MRI and probably a CT scan and can hopefully get on a clinical trial for the TDM-1 trial. But it is in Stockton, California and I would have to go every three weeks. That is what Dr. K is hoping for. Or I could start another kind of treatment here, like a Taxane. But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

The tumor in my chest is growing, but as the wound care nurse said, it would probably be huge by now so it is good that I had the bulk of it taken out five weeks ago.

In the meantime, I am taking lots of drugs for side effects. Zofran for nausea (but maybe I can taper that off as the antibiotics gets out of my system), steroids for swelling in the brain which helps with headaches and nausea, dilaudid for pain (due to the growing tumors in my arm and increased swelling), Valium for anxiety and sleep, and Ibuprofen, I. Addition to Chinese herbs and supplements.

I am back to not sleeping, get weepy from the pain (controlled now with the Dilaudid), I am a little nauseous, but eating a lot and often helps with that. My appetite is picking up but it is a lot of little meals and I don't eat much. I am not very good company. I am gonna get through these next few weeks. I think next week will be the worst. Or maybe it was this week as I find the right combo of meds to control the side effects. I do think the steroids keep me from being so weepy and the pain meds help too.

It looks like my summer is shot. At least my dad, brother, and friend are building the deck. So I guess we concentrate on the back yard. I can't sit for long in a restaurant, so I am at home or at my appointments.

I am not posting much on the blog or on Facebook because my arms hurt. Maybe now that I take Dilaudid, I can post more again.

Also say Happy Birthday to my son today .. . He turns 11! Wow!

Doing better so far today

I ended up with a lot of nausea on Friday -this was after taking the standard dose of 3 250-mg pills each day and one dose of Flagyl. The nausea lasted into Saturday morning. I took Zofran Friday night and Saturday morning. I am happy to report that since I stopped the antibiotic on Thursday, I finally don't have nausea.

But I do have pain in my shoulders and my right forearm. Dad finally talked me into taking Dilaudid so I took some about 1am and again at 7am. I will take that instead of Tylenol and will alternate that with Ibuprofen. I thnk the pain is less and allowed me to sleep better.

I do think the infection in my left arm (not armpit) is less. For now I will just use the antibiotic/silver powder and silver dressing, while I do WBR.

So my plan is to do the WBR, take the pain meds and the anti-nausea meds and try to keep the infection from getting worse.

Dad and Scott are building the deck in back. My friend will come over and help tomorrow. I think the rest of the summer will be spent trying to rest. And work on the back yard. Maybe later in the summer, I will be able to travel more..

Thank you all form the birthday wishes!

Enjoying myself in Lincoln City

I have been enjoying myself so far in Lincoln City, but I still need to rest a lot. I wasn't nauseous yesterday but was today and that is because I started alternating my meds -yesterday I had the antibiotic and today the Tykerb. Turns out the Tykerb gives me more nausea. I was nauseous on our way to the coast on Saturday, until after lunch, same as today. Because I was nauseous Saturday, I decided to alternate the meds so I could enjoy myself more.

Took two naps Saturday evening, slept okay Sat night. Didn't sleep real well last night. My arm and shoulder get achey and I can't get comfortable. I wake up every 90 to 120 minutes at night.

I am also not wearing the compression sleeve because it seems that my infection in the armpit gets worse when I do. So, I will put up with a fat arm until that wound heals. Maybe I won't get an infection since there won't be open skin.

I don't know if I reported this or not, but the neurosurgeon advised me to do whole brain radiation. I think I will do gamma knife for now and then do WBR radiAtion later this summer. I have been getting a headache behind my right eye on occasion, which makes me think the tuner is there.

So it is a hard thing - take the antibiotic and feel better and heal the wound or take the Tykerb to keep any more brain tumors from growing and feel more nauseous (my digestive system is still healing so I think that is why I feel nauseous with it.) I am erring on feeling good right now since I am at the coast and hope I can get gamma knife for the tumor next week, when Eddie is out of town with his dad.

Have taken several walks on the beach and try to practice my "shee-shee-whoo" breath when I do. Turns out I can walk to Roads End Park, walk to the beach, then walk to the casino,then walk on the beach a short way until I find the path that takes me to them road our house is on. Takes maybe an hour, but usually longer since I spend time in the casino. So far, I think I am $30-40 to the good.

So it is good. The weather hasn't been great so I can't hang out on the deck as much. But good walks on the beach. I do feel more relaxed since I don't have appointments.

We are all fairly lazy. Eddie is having fun with his cousins. So it is good. I just wish to he'll I felt stronger and slept better.

To the coast today

In a few hours, we head to the coast for a few days, until Wednesday. I sure hope I can rest, relax, and most of all, sleep.

I didn't sleep well last night - maybe 4 or 5 hours. I also slept about an hour after dinner.

The wound in my armpit is slowly healing. It is mow back down to 3.5 cm x 1cm. And the chest wound is healing.

I have been streching the right arm -we think there is nerve tension. But it is bothering me again this morning.

I ran some errands yesterday morning and felt good. But was lazy in the afternoon. I packed in the evening, but was groggy because of the nap.

Let's hope my time at the coast is more relaxing and restful.

Physical therapy and MRI

I saw my physical therapist who said that now that I have been treated with antibiotics for a few days, it is okay to begin wearing compressions garments again. The Area that was red and inflamed has improved, from her perspective, but it is still red and inflamed. So for now I will stay on the antibiotic.

My son saw the dentist and all is well - no cavities!

Then I had the MRI, both with and without contrast. It wad fine except I couldn't quite get my lymphedema arm comfortable. I will get results late tomorrow or Wed. I really hope there is nothing measurable there so I continue getting stronger and let my digestive system heal. (still have some diarrhea).

Went to some friends' child's fifth birthday at a local park. Eddie played at the park and in the sand. He did the same at my friends' softball game yesterday. It feels good to get out and about.

I am tired at the moment. Got about 7 hours last night. And my right shoulder and forearm seem less tense, as does my left shoulder. I think the Valium is working! Less anxious, muscles are relaxing. Getting more sleep. It is a good thing.

Infusion, Infection, CEA, Sleep, and Shakiness

I had my regularly scheduled infused yesterday - well, it was a week late - but I was a bit nervous about how it would affect me. So, I opted to also get an anti-nausea (which I don't really need usually). I also had an antibiotic infused.

When I saw the wound care nurse yesterday, she noted that the armpit wound was a bit bigger - up to 3cm x 1.5cm, up from 2.3cm x 1cm a few days ago. We attributed it to an infection, especially since the swelling near the armpit is quite red and inflamed and the scar tissue area looked larger. We were glad that I had an antibiotic given to me. But now I need to take it orally for a few more days.

I also found out that with lymphedema, you don't want to be wearing compression bandages with an active infection, so I took off the sleeve (which I just got on Thursday the 7th) and won't wear the compression wrap until the infection goes away.

Also, there was a light infection on the chest tumor wound, so she covered it quite thick with a silver gel to kill any microbes. The less I open it to air, the better, so I will only change it once every two days. Another good reason to stay on an antibiotic.

But for now, I need to take Keflex, which really gave me nausea last week. My digestive system is still not recovered, but it is better. I am eating more and a greater variety and more at one sitting. A good thing.

My CEA was 10.5, down from 12.5 in late May. Down is good, but I hoped it would be down more after two additional surgeries to remove the second brain tumor and the chest tumor.

I am feeling shaky today - and also for the last week or so, I can't focus on anything close. I am trying not to tense my shoulders, but it's hard. I took Valium last night and slept maybe 6 hours or so. After eating breakfast, I went back to bed and got another 30 min of sleep.

So, that's the news. Another day of taking it easy. I wanted to be stronger. But I guess now is the time to rest. My acupuncturist called me a "yang-addicted personality". I guess she's right. I feel like I've been resting for 3 months. But I really should give myself a break. Three surgeries in five weeks - I guess I should give myself five weeks from the last surgery to really feel human. That's three more weeks. Especially since I'm back on the antibiotic for awhile.

Let's hope the MRI shows nothing cooking because that buys me some time to get stronger.

Too Much Too Soon, I Guess

Yesterday afternoon, about 5:30pm, I threw up, but I didn't have much in my system so there were some dry heaves, too.

I think, in the end, I tried to take too many herbs/medicines/supplements yesterday. In addition to the anti-seizure medication, I had the antibiotic, a probiotic, Chinese herbs for nausea and some for diarrhea, then because I was doing better in the afternoon, I took Chinese mushrooms and turmeric. I also had ginger tea.

At the time I threw up, about 30 min before, I had ginger tea and the tea pills for nausea. I think I threw it all up.

But an hour later, I was able to eat a turkey sandwich and then I ate applesauce through the evening and night. Kept it all down. My stomach actually felt okay into the evening. I just couldn't sleep because of my right arm/shoulder pain. Couldn't get comfortable. (Remember, I haven't taken Tylenol either in the interest of detoxifying and helping my digestive system to heal.)

I finally took an Ambien about 1:30am, slept a couple of hours, woke up briefly, and then slept almost another two hours. Got up and ate some applesauce, then slept another hour, from 5:30-6:30. Realized I was hungry so I ate yogurt and tried to go back to sleep at 7. No such luck.

My plan today - to keep the herbs/supplements/medicines to a minimum. I plan to only take the Chinese herbs for nausea and the anti-seizure medication and on a fuller belly later this am, the antibiotic. Nothing else, unless I get diarrhea, then I'll take one Imodium.

My biggest ambition today is to declutter Eddie's bedroom some more. He's with his dad today and will come home this evening. We'll see if I make it. Then if I still have energy, I may grout the new mosaic. At least, it's a sunny day!

Anxiety leads to less sleep . . . but the day is ending on a good note

I started Tykerb today. I've had it before with hardly any side effects - a tad bit of diarrhea until my body gets used to it. Some white zits on the face, but otherwise, I tolerate it well. But I wasn't sure how it was going to interact with the anti-seizure medicine (which also, coincidentally, has diarrhea as a side effect).

Before bed and throughout the night, I was anxious about taking it. I want to take it so I can start taking care of any cancer cells in my noggin - and in my skin - but anxious about potential drug interactions.

I was also anxious about my decision to do the surgery next week, not sure that I was really making the right decision.

As a consequence, I only got about 4-5 hours sleep. I was tired all morning. I took Ed to school anyway and then got the oil changed in my car. But I did have some diarrhea and felt a little shaky as a result.

Then on my way home, I got a call from Eddie at school - he apparently needed something I thought was already graded and I put it away, so I had to run it to his school.

Then I saw the radiation oncologist. I was so tired and anxious that I admit to being weepy with both the radiation nurse and the radiation oncologist. The nurse said that my weepiness was to be expected and that my anxiety was warranted. But she also added that I did look really well, under the circumstances. My heart rate was still high as was my blood pressure - either still getting the steroids out of my system and/or withdrawing from them. She was very reassuring.

The radiation oncologist came in - and either she or the nurse (I can't remember now) - and they said that at their morning staff meeting, my name was mentioned and I guess it was generally agreed that I had made the right decision to do surgery next week. She understood the reasons - especially that the damn tumor was so visible to my own eyes and she said she might make the same decision to do the surgery so she wouldn't have to look at it anymore. She also said that I was "strong-minded" and that was what a lot of people admired about me and how I take charge of my own care.

I told her about the research I found about brain mets - that people who stay on Herceptin actually survive fairly long after a diagnosis of brain mets as long as the cancer is controlled below the neck.

She was also happy that I chose to take Tykerb for its preventive effect on the brain. I will be able to stay on Tykerb through the surgery. She was going to check and make sure that I could stay on it through radiation.

After some discussion, we decided on 14 more treatments of radiation as she can deliver a smaller dose. If I were to only do 9 or 10 sessions, they'd have to do a larger dose, but research has shown that there can be some cognitive defects in the long -term (years later) and since the research shows that it is possible that I will be alive a longer time than Dr. K said I might, she wanted to opt for the smaller dose. She also assured me that everyone admired how I continued to live my life - doing fun things and working and all - with everything I've been through.

I won't be prescribed steroids unless I start getting nausea or other symptoms that indicate that there is increased swelling. YAY!

We decided that we'd start the Monday after the surgery - beginning June 27 - and doing 14 treatments. Just in time for us to go to the coast the next week, where I can recuperate.

So, I get another week to recuperate from everything that has happened thus far and adjust to taking Tykerb (I see more yogurt in my future), then surgery, and four days later, I start radiation. Three weeks of that and then a week at the coast.

I received hugs from the nurse - I think the doctor, too - and one of the radiation techs. The doctor's son is the same age as my son and we talked about how both boys have recently discovered laser tag. I told everyone we were taking my son to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate his last day of school. Eddie and I have gone there the last 2 or 3 years and now, as Eddie says, it's "tradition", so he really wanted to go.

But since I don't quite trust myself to drive long distances on my own, I invited mom and dad to go with me. They went to the mall and shopped a bit, while I read a book ("Water for Elephants" that I borrowed from my colleague, B.), and Eddie used all his tokens. A huge thank you to dad for driving. I think it was nice for all of us to have a change in scenery.

On the way home, Dr. K's office called, but didn't leave a message. So, I called back. The nurse called me back later and we finally figured out that they wanted to tell me the results of the echocardiogram from the other day. I was nervous that there was something wrong and I'd have to go off Herceptin or something.

The news? Everything is within normal limits. My heart is fine - my ejection fraction was within normal limits. The high heart rate and blood pressure is probably more due to the steroids than anything else.

Whew. Thank goodness SOMETHING is normal. Given everything else that's happened, normal is good. It's very very good.

I should have a good night's sleep tonight as all that I worried about last night is okay. Only some diarrhea (which I will get under control), my decision to have surgery was sound, and my heart is fine. And, Eddie and I got to carry on "tradition" with my parents' help.

Thank you, everyone, for continuing to keep me in your thoughts, prayers, etc. I very much appreciate it. I am good.

Wound Update, Compression Wrap, and Medication Side Effects

Today, I first saw the wound care nurse. The largest open area in my armpit is 4x2.5cm. But a few days ago, near the incision line in back, it started draining again. It had developed a "postule". The wound care nurse feels that this may be a minor staph infection, so she put silver on it and we covered it with the antimicrobial silver gauze.

The two smaller areas that do not have skin near the bottom of the wound have developed red raised areas. It may be infected, too. But it may be cancerous lesions forming. She doesn't know for sure. But in case it was hypergranulation, she put silver nitrate on the two areas (which kills the tissue). I think she also put some silver nitrate on the postule. We will monitor the area and sew what happens over the next few days.

I then saw the physical therapist and I caught her up on all that happened to me in the last couple of months. She put a compression wrap on my left arm, extending from the base of my finger to my shoulder. I need to keep it on for at least 22 hours a day to try to get the swelling down. It was a good 5cm or 2 inches bigger than it was last year. It's just a little bit uncomfortable around my elbow.

The interesting thing the physical therapist told me was that lymphedema is protein-rich fluid, that encourages bacterial infections. So, it's highly likely that the areas that are raised and the postule are little bacterial infections. I will tell the wound care nurse that on Friday. That made me feel a little bit better.

I was a little shaky and jittery all day. It's a side effect of the anti-seizure medication I am on. But I think it was complicated by the two Benadryl I took in the middle of the night last night which can "cause hyperactivity in children". So, I don't think I will take that any more. I will ask my neurosurgeon tomorrow about drug interactions.

My fingers are still numb and now my ring finger and my left thumb are a little numb as well. I will talk to the neurosurgeon about this. I noticed in April that my ears had hardly any ear wax. I had some last week, but not this week. This makes me wonder if there is something new growing in my brain. I also got the call today that my Tykerb will be delivered tomorrow, so Thursday, I will start taking it and hope that it gets to where it needs to go in the brain. Nip whatever it is in the bud. I also wonder if I could decrease the anti-seizure medication dose since I seem to be getting some of the less desirable symptoms, like some lack of coordination. But I will also ask him what symptoms I should be aware of should more tumors develop.

I also see the general surgeon tomorrow afternoon to see about removing the chest tumor. And between the neurosurgeon visit and the general surgeon, I will have two visits - L, a colleague from Fairbanks, and A. who is also bringing a meal.

So, I was a little worried today, but I was also able to do some things with Eddie at school - he had a swimming party this afternoon and I drove him and some of his classmates. Then this evening was his musical. He was the producer. I feel a little less worried because I think my jitteriness (if that's a word) was caused by the Benadryl.

I hope to get a better night's sleep tonight. I got about 5 1/2 hours last night. I will take melatonin first and then Ambien if I wake up in the middle of the night. That's what I did on Sunday night and I had a good day on Monday. I will keep you all posted - and keep putting out good energy that there is no disease progression already.

Holy cow. Tired today.

But even so, we got some things done.

This morning, after putting on my mad scientist hat, I mixed a new topical concoction for that chest tumor.

Then mom, dad, and I went shopping at Kohl's. We picked up news shoes for Eddie and t-shirts for me, some clothes for mom and Scott. I also found a nice little mosaic table for the deck outside . . . When the deck gets built.

Had lunch in Albany, then went to a local. Ursery, where we found a Plain Terra cotta plant container and another ceramic one for plants in the backyard. Our plan is to make a curvy pathways, surrounded by beds using retaining wall stones and plant containers. That will be directly behind the deck we plan to build.

By then, I was beat. I think the Ambien made me groggy all day, so I plan to take Benadryl to see if I feel better tomorrow while still sleeping tonight (a couple of doctors suggested this to help with sleep.

I rested through the early afternoon, then right before dinner, I designed a new mosaic. I have bee making them in these 2ft. X 2ft. panels which may end up in a short fence thatnwill divide the side yard in back from the backyard.

After dinner, I rested and watched Chocolat. I love that movie. Still tired. Hope Inget more than 4-5 hours tonight! I feel so lucky my folks are here - I was way too tired to make dinner for me and Eddie. I am glad some ins are getting back to normal, though, like shopping and errands. But the grogginess today has been a bit much.

Mosaic today

I had a relatively low-key day today. I woke up shaky and with some diarrhea, but within a couple of hours, The shakiness disappeared. I was tired all day, though, as I had only 2-3 hours sleep.

I worked mostly on grouting and placing tiles on my design. I will try to post pics when I can.

Eddie had a tough day at school today. I wonder just how much of his problem is due to what's going on with me. He is why I need to be around for years to come, to help him through days like this as he feels like I am the only one he can talk to about days like today.

Tomorrow, I have therapy - will probably talk about what Dr. K said. Then I get this bandage off my head - yay! My head is really starting to itch! Then Uncle Alex and Aunt Nancy will be done for a visit.

No other real news, other than I get Herceptin and Zometa on Friday.

After Trying to Nap Twice today . . .

and failing, I called my oncologist's office and asked them to prescribe me a sleeping pill. I now have prescription Ambien. Let's hope the stuff gets me some good sleep tonight!

Damn Steroids

I am sleep deprived. I don't think I've had any decent REM sleep for three nights. I think I may have dozed three times last night for about an hour. I think I really only got some real sleep for one hour last night.

Sheesh. When I am up, my eyes feel so heavy. I'll lay down and rest them for awhile. I just tried napping for two hours and didn't get to sleep. So, while I'm laying there, I can't turn off my mind. I wrote this post. I thought about things like house projects. Then my stomach growls and growls and I got to eat.

Sigh.

One decision I made was to not take any steroids today. Or the anti-seizure medication. I figure I will be okay.

I did have one session of whole brain radiation. They say that radiation kills roughly half the cancer cells that are there. So, I assume that at least some of that damn tumor left in my skull is dying. Which means it's not as big which means there isn't as much swelling.

I also feel like I'm already pumped full of steroids - the neurosurgeon thought my dose was too big when I saw him, so I figure, if I can't sleep, they must still be in my system. If they are in my system, they are decreasing the swelling that is there.

Then, there are my symptoms. If the swelling was bad, my fingers would be weaker and/or number. I would be shaky on my feet. I might have headaches and/or nausea. But in fact, no headache or no nausea. (I don't want to throw up. My stomach gets gurgly and I just want to settle it with crackers or food. I don't get heartburn either. Just a bit unsettled.) My two right fingers (index and middle) are numb but are less numb than when I got home. I am fairly steady on my feet. So, hardly any bad symptoms.

So, no need for the meds, I think. I need sleep more. I won't take them today and hope to high-hell that I get at least a few-hour stretch of sleep sometime in the next 24 hours.

Don't worry. I will closely monitor myself over the next couple of days. If I start getting any hint of weakness or headache or nausea, I'll take the damn steroid. But surgery is in just 3 days. I think I'll be okay. : )

Saturday Happenings

I actually slept okay last night. I went to bed about 10:30 (apparently the steroids didn't kick in), woke up about 2pm, went back to sleep about 3 and then woke up every hour until 6:40. So, about 6 or 7 hours all together.

I did some work on the computer - had to file a claim and then changed my profile pic on Facebook (still need to change it for the blog), then Eddie and I ran some errands. We want to start Eddie on some music lessons, so we went to the music store to see what instruments he might like. In the end, he would still like to learn how to play the harp. There's a music teacher who might let us rent one, so I'll look into it in the next couple of weeks.

Then, we checked out snorkel masks, found a wii game that he wanted, then lunch. Afterwards, I worked on taxes all day, although I'm kind mad with how H&R block set it up - I can't go directly to the forms themselves and read the instructions. I'm stuck in the interview part. I need to look into it more tomorrow.

After dinner, we watched Mamma Mia - mom and dad got me the Blue-ray movie for Christmas. It was fun hearing the old Abba songs! Now, I'm catching up on my blogs.

Tomorrow, will relax in the am, maybe look some more into the tax situation (trying to figure out if I can also claim dad on the taxes so I can get a bigger refund), and then Eddie and I are heading to laser tag in Eugene, where we will meet one of the other Puttin' on the Pink models and her 9-year-old son. I'm sure they will have fun and M and I can visit!

Well, no other news. I'm just gonna get ready for bed! Good night!

Christmas Eve and Day Happenings

Eddie is with his dad for a while today, but he'll be home around mid-afternoon. My family will be here by about 5pm and we'll have snacks set up (one of the favorite ways my family likes to eat) and probably around 6 or 7pm, we'll exchange our gifts.

Eddie gets to stay with me so that Santa can visit our house. He'll stay here until mid-morning and then he'll be with his dad until 6pm. That's when we'll eat dinner. I think we're doing a non-traditional dinner this year. For some reason, turkey and ham just doesn't sound very good.

I have a few things yet to do today - making a necklace, a few more rhymes, and then transferring the photos and contacts to our new phone. (I switched to CREDO Mobile - I found out that both Verizon and AT&T donated money to Tea Party candidates and other politicians that don't support a woman's right to choose or who don't support climate change legislation - plus, in the end, it'll cost about the same, but I will get $100 per phone back in a couple of months. CREDO supports progressive causes.)

I didn't sleep long enough last night - between the caffeine keeping me up too late last night and a cat wanting out of my room early this morning - so I hope at some point to be able to rest.

As I start my day, I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Love to you from me and my family!

Rest. It Does a Body Good.

Resting. I need to do more of it while I'm on Abraxane. I had a treatment on Friday, I rested that night, but couldn't get to sleep until about midnight. I slept until about 7:30am on Saturday and then participated in the Psycho-Emotional Repatterning workshop all day.

The workshop was really informative and I enjoyed meeting the other participants. I learned more about Chinese medicine and the philosophy behind it. It was also brought together a lot of things that I have been learning. So, it was cool.

I took it easy Saturday evening and night. Mom and dad rented a movie called "My Name is Khan", which was interesting because the main character had Asperger's Syndrome. It was also a movie about intolerance towards Muslims in post 9/11 America. I enjoyed it.

I slept in until about 8am on Sunday, then relaxed and worked on the grant proposal for awhile, then ran errands, picked up Eddie, found some material for a new jacket kuspuk for me, and had coffee with a friend. Then, after dinner, I had to work on the grant proposal. We already had an extension and it was due today. So, I was up until after 11pm. I didn't finish the grant proposal, so I decided to ask my program officer for yet another extension.

I had to get up about 6:30am. Went to work. Left a message for my program officer and emailed her. But in the meantime, I had so much to do - I needed to grade papers (put that off until later this week), I needed to upload grades into Blackboard, I need to do IRB paperwork, I needed to prepare for class, I got an email about having to make minor changes to a supplemental request, and then I agreed to be interviewed by a student via skype. I quickly became overwhelmed today.

I also felt really fatigued and it occurred to me sometime this morning that I was feeling so tired, not just because I was up late, because my fatigue was more than just not enough sleep. I'm feeling this fatigued because of the chemo. Abraxane causes anemia.

I finally managed to prioritize what I could get done this morning and I decided to ask a couple of people to help out on some of the tasks I needed to do. And, then, an angel in the form of my program officer emailed me and told me that we could have a little more time before I needed to submit the proposal.

A lot of weight lifted off my shoulders.

So, even though I feel fairly good under this chemotherapy regimen, I was reminded today that I do get fatigued.

I had been operating like the Abraxane was no big deal since my mood is good and I'm getting such good results.

But it does affect my blood counts. I need to remember that and to take time to rest.

Which is all to say that I am still not able to do as much as work as I might want to.

Rest. It does a body good.