Infusion, Infection, CEA, Sleep, and Shakiness

I had my regularly scheduled infused yesterday - well, it was a week late - but I was a bit nervous about how it would affect me. So, I opted to also get an anti-nausea (which I don't really need usually). I also had an antibiotic infused.

When I saw the wound care nurse yesterday, she noted that the armpit wound was a bit bigger - up to 3cm x 1.5cm, up from 2.3cm x 1cm a few days ago. We attributed it to an infection, especially since the swelling near the armpit is quite red and inflamed and the scar tissue area looked larger. We were glad that I had an antibiotic given to me. But now I need to take it orally for a few more days.

I also found out that with lymphedema, you don't want to be wearing compression bandages with an active infection, so I took off the sleeve (which I just got on Thursday the 7th) and won't wear the compression wrap until the infection goes away.

Also, there was a light infection on the chest tumor wound, so she covered it quite thick with a silver gel to kill any microbes. The less I open it to air, the better, so I will only change it once every two days. Another good reason to stay on an antibiotic.

But for now, I need to take Keflex, which really gave me nausea last week. My digestive system is still not recovered, but it is better. I am eating more and a greater variety and more at one sitting. A good thing.

My CEA was 10.5, down from 12.5 in late May. Down is good, but I hoped it would be down more after two additional surgeries to remove the second brain tumor and the chest tumor.

I am feeling shaky today - and also for the last week or so, I can't focus on anything close. I am trying not to tense my shoulders, but it's hard. I took Valium last night and slept maybe 6 hours or so. After eating breakfast, I went back to bed and got another 30 min of sleep.

So, that's the news. Another day of taking it easy. I wanted to be stronger. But I guess now is the time to rest. My acupuncturist called me a "yang-addicted personality". I guess she's right. I feel like I've been resting for 3 months. But I really should give myself a break. Three surgeries in five weeks - I guess I should give myself five weeks from the last surgery to really feel human. That's three more weeks. Especially since I'm back on the antibiotic for awhile.

Let's hope the MRI shows nothing cooking because that buys me some time to get stronger.

What a Day, What a Day, What a Day

And, I made it! I'm tired, but I made it.

I went to wound care first at 8:30am. The area with no skin is smaller by about 1/2 cm - it's now 4cm x 2.5cm, down from 4x3cm on Tuesday. That's good.

She also changed the dressing on the chest tumor. More of the skin has broken down. After I talked to the nurses at the Infusion Center and the wound care nurse, I think I'm gonna try to talk my local surgeon into removing the damn thing sooner rather than later.

Then, I ran over to the Social Security office in Albany to drop off paperwork. There was no line, so I was in and out of there faster than I thought I might be.

Then, off to Ambulatory Infusion to get Herceptin and Zometa. I will have an echogram next week to check my heart as it has been since Feb 2010 since I had one. (Sheesh, I thought I had one more recently than that.) My heart rate is about 90-100 beats a minute, which I think is related to the steroids. The heart rate was also elevated when I was anemic in April. So, they just want to check and make sure everything is okay. I haven't heard yet about the Tykerb. I will call on Monday to see what the status of getting that drug is.

While I was there, I worked on edits to a chapter I wrote last summer for about an hour.

After three hours there, I picked up Eddie - he had an appointment. Then, I actually came home and worked on edits again for another hour.

Then, one of my colleagues dropped off Chinese food for our dinner tonight, which we then promptly took to Eddie's school so he could go to the carnival. I was really hungry when I first got there and was cranky, but once I got food in my belly, I visited with several people, including one teacher whose husband recently died because of cancer. So many of the other parents and teachers told me that they were praying for me and offered support. Thank you!

Right before I left, Eddie went into the dunk tank and got dunked a couple of times. He was having a ball.

I got home about 7:45. A long day. But I made it through. I'm tired, of curse, and happy to be horizontal. My lymphedema arm is a little achey, but less so than the tendonitis in my right forearm.

Life is good. I'm glad I was able to hang with Eddie at his carnival. I feel very happy to have life as normal as I can make it for him.

Happy weekend!

CEA, Transfusion, and Right Shoulder/Arm Pain

I had Herceptin and Zometa on Friday morning and they took some blood for labs, to check my tumor marker, and my other metabolic and blood cell levels.

The good news is that my CEA was 5.4, down from 41.9 on March 8. 3.8 is considered normal. Yay! I'm glad it's that low and confirms my assertion that the tumor under my armpit was causing that number to be so high. (I do still have that tumor on my breastbone, which is one reason why I had Herceptin and Zometa. Maybe that will help lower the CEA even more?)

But my hemoglobin was 8.7 (normal is 11.5-13.5; some docs give a transfusion when it's under 8 and some under 9). They called my oncologist, who decided to give me a transfusion, for which I'm glad. My hematocrit was 26.3 and normal is 36. The nurses said that because I was symptomatic (shortness of breath, high pulse rate, fatigue), Dr. K ordered the transfusion. I think I also need energy to help heal the wound in my armpit.

So, I sat at Ambulatory Infusion for another 4-5 hours, first waiting for the blood and then getting it. That was really hard on me because I had a lot of pain in my right shoulder blade, up to my right shoulder, then my right elbow and down my forearm to my hand. It got so bad I was in tears. My right fingers were also tingly and numb. Dad brought up Dilaudid for me and the nurses gave me hot packs for the shoulder and the forearm.

I think that I am overcompensating with my right arm - doing more things with it since I am not able to stretch my left arm out yet because of surgery (and lymphedema). I also find myself automatically raising that shoulder even when sitting or standing, so I have to consciously keep telling myself to relax. I also think that keeping it more immobile while at Infusion contributed to the pain. Finally, I think having fluid going in the catheter up my arm also contributed. Yesterday, I had hardly any pain, but I moved around more. I went to wound care and then shopped for button up shirts in Albany. I had plenty of energy. Only once did my right shoulder/arm get painful. Yesterday evening, after laying down to rest some, I could feel some of the pain coming back. I'd left that right arm more immobile than earlier that day. So, I got up and did some simple arm exercises and tried to stretch out both arms. I found that I could stretch out my right arm as much as I wanted because the catheter is in that arm. I really think that has something to do with it. I wish I could get it taken out . . .

It was also tough because I feel like I'm failing somehow because I can't wean myself off the pain pills just yet. It's not because of the surgery site, but the right shoulder pain. Dilaudid helps relax that area. But the nurses assured me that it's okay - it's only been four weeks post-surgery. I also feel like it's taking me much longer to recover from this surgery. Next time I do it, I want to be much stronger physically.

The transfusion did help, though. I feel more energetic and I don't feel my heart racing as much as it did. So, that's a good thing. And, today is sunny. I see blue skies everywhere. It's supposed to be 70. I do need to do some work - grading papers and then preparing for a presentation tomorrow - and I'll pick up Eddie at his dad's house. I don't think I'll go to Urgent Care for a dressing change - I think yesterday's dressing can last a day because of how well the doctor wrapped it. And, besides, my lilacs are blooming!

Oh. I forgot. A colleague of mine gave me an orchid. It's really beautiful. Thank you, W.!

Here's the CEA history:
1/2008 - 1.2 ng/mL
3/2008 - 0.9 ng/mL
6/2008 - 1.0 ng/mL
8/2008 - 1.1 ng/mL (need to double check this number, but it was in that 0.9 to 1.2 range)
9/2008 - 0.5 ng/mL
10/2008 - 0.9 ng/mL
10/31/2008 - 1.2 ng/mL
11/28/2008 - 1.2 ng/mL
12/30/2008 - 1.1 ng/mL
3/2/2009 - 1.4 ng/mL
4/8/2009 - 1.6 ng/mL
5/5/2009 - 1.9 ng/mL
6/4/2009 - 3.0 ng/mL
7/2/2009 - 3.7 ng/mL
8/3/2009 - 4.2 ng/mL
8/31/2009 - 5.1 ng/mL
10/2/2009 - 5.7 ng/mL (or was it 5.8?)
11/2/2009 - 7.6 ng/mL
11/30/2009 - 10.5 ng/mL
12/28/2009 - 13.2 ng/mL
3/8/2010 - 22.9 ng/mL
4/22/2010 - 28.9 ng/mL
6/7/2010 - 46.3 ng/mL
7/19/2010 - 44.3 ng/mL
8/19/2010 - 50.9 ng/mL
10/05/2010 - 41.6 ng/mL
11/04/2010 - 7.1 ng/mL
12/03/2010 - 3.4 ng/mL
12/30/2010 - 17.1 ng/mL
1/28/2011 - 44.3 ng/mL
3/8/2011 - 41.9 ng/mL
4/29/2011 - 5.4 ng/mL

Happy May Day!

HAZ Today - HI Next Wednesday!

I'm here at the Infusion Center, waiting to get my chemo. Turns out that they're not getting a good blood return on the P.A.S. port in my arm, so they put in some "TPA", which will break up the blood clot which can sometimes form on the catheter.

Today is my last HAZ treatment - yay! I may go back on it, but for now, I won't have Abraxane until sometime after surgery, if at all. I'm excited about the prospect of my hair growing back.

My blood work does show that I'm slightly anemic. My RBC (red blood cell) count is 3.19 x 10 to the 6/uL (normal is 3.9 to 5.1); my hemoglobin is 9.8 g/dL (normal is 11.5 to 15.4); and my hematocrit is 28.2% (normal is 36 to 46).

Also last week and through last weekend, I was taking 10 mg of melatonin at night. My normal dose is 8 mg. I hoped it would help me sleep better, but in the end, I think it was causing me to feel that dead-dog tired fatigue. I've had more energy this week since I went back down to 8mg; it probably also has to do with having two weeks to recover from the HA treatment on Jan 14.

I spent some time yesterday organizing all the reservation numbers for our flights to HI and for the car rentals. I also looked up the map and directions to the place we're staying on Kailua Beach on Oahu. I started getting excited. I found out that we won't be too far from another beach where we can kayak out to some rocks, so I think we will definitely rent kayaks one day. I also saw a satellite image of the beach - it was a sunny day, the water was blue, and the beach was light-colored sand. Heaven.

I'm worried about getting too much water while kayaking, though, because of the wound. It's about 6" x 4" (at least) large, which means that microbes could have a field day in the wound and I'd end up with a nasty infection. I need to think about the best way to protect that area . . . a friend suggested a dry suit, so I might see if it's possible to rent one.

I was also contacted by someone (S.) that I went to high school with who now lives in Honolulu, so we'll probably at least get together for coffee or something. I may also try to have lunch or something with my friend's parents, who live north of Honolulu. I might meet up with the editor of an anthropology book series. We will go to Sea Life park. I would also like to go to the swap meet/flea market at Aloha Stadium, if it still exists.

Mostly though, I expect to hang out on the beach, read a book, watch Eddie play in the water, wade in the water myself. Plenty of sunscreen for my neck and other exposed areas of my bald head, too.

I'm excited!

HAZ - A - HA - Whew - HAZ - A - HA - Whew

Say what? : )

This is actually my treatment schedule. For the next few months (assuming that the Abraxane/Herceptin combo do the trick), I will have a monthly cycle that goes something like this:

Week 1 - HAZ - Herceptin, Abraxane, Zometa

Week 2 - A - Abraxane

Week 3 - HA - Herceptin and Abraxane

Week 4 - Whew - no chemo or targeted therapy

Repeat.

So, I will be posting things like: "Today is a HAZ Day" or "Today is an A Day". Just so you're warned!

You know, you gotta have fun with this s#*t!

Darnit!! Not surprised, though

As you all know, I had these new satellite tumors growing in and around the wound. I counted as many as 17 or 18 today. So, I knew my CEA tumor marker would go up. I thought it would by a few points, but instead it went up to 17.1.

Crap. Lost a lot of ground in the last month. My theory again is that Abraxane worked as long as I had a bunch of Herminator-2 cells running around. However, Abraxane is a non-discriminating chemotherapy - it kills bad as well as good cells. So, my lovely Herminator-2 cells have been knocked down by Abraxane - a couple of weeks ago, it was about 1/3 of what it was at the beginning of October. Today, my white blood cell count went back up - it doubled from two weeks ago - but it's still not the strength that's needed.

So, it was necessary to bring in something new - I'm glad we added Herceptin today with the new CEA number. I'm not out of the woods yet. I need to recommit to not eating sugar or processed foods and to practicing qigong and meditation more. I need to do whatever I can to help my body knock out the cancer. I think the high CEA today was a message to tell me to not rest on my laurels . . . or to rely too much on just one thing, like the Abraxane.

It also means starting to say no again to things at work, including any kind of long distance travel. The farthest I want to go is Hawaii or Alaska. I need to stay close to home and rest. I need to keep my life as unstressful as possible. A couple of new things cropped up at work today and it made me feel overwhelmed. So, it's time to retreat.

I expect that I won't sleep well tonight. I might use the time to write and get a bit ahead with work projects. So, I got a plan.

Here's the CEA history:

Anyway, here is the history:

CEA
1/2008 - 1.2 ng/mL
3/2008 - 0.9 ng/mL
6/2008 - 1.0 ng/mL
8/2008 - 1.1 ng/mL (need to double check this number, but it was in that 0.9 to 1.2 range)
9/2008 - 0.5 ng/mL
10/2008 - 0.9 ng/mL
10/31/2008 - 1.2 ng/mL
11/28/2008 - 1.2 ng/mL
12/30/2008 - 1.1 ng/mL
3/2/2009 - 1.4 ng/mL
4/8/2009 - 1.6 ng/mL
5/5/2009 - 1.9 ng/mL
6/4/2009 - 3.0 ng/mL
7/2/2009 - 3.7 ng/mL
8/3/2009 - 4.2 ng/mL
8/31/2009 - 5.1 ng/mL
10/2/2009 - 5.7 ng/mL (or was it 5.8?)
11/2/2009 - 7.6 ng/mL
11/30/2009 - 10.5 ng/mL
12/28/2009 - 13.2 ng/mL
3/8/2010 - 22.9 ng/mL
4/22/2010 - 28.9 ng/mL
6/7/2010 - 46.3 ng/mL
7/19/2010 - 44.3 ng/mL
8/19/2010 - 50.9 ng/mL
10/05/2010 - 41.6 ng/mL
11/04/2010 - 7.1 ng/mL
12/03/2010 - 3.4 ng/mL
12/30/2010 - 17.1 ng/mL

Sigh. No rest for the wicked, huh?

Herceptin tomorrow

Tomorrow, I start a new "targeted therapy" for my Her-2 positive cancer: Herceptin. It's been around for 10+ years now, I think, and has been found to be really effective. I've been on Tykerb ("son of Herceptin") for almost two years. I don't expect to have many side effects. But there's always a possibility that I will.

I was planning to start a new meditation class tomorrow afternoon, which would take place after the appointment, but to be on the safe side, I thought I should just stay home afterwards and rest.

Amazingly, I'm not feeling too anxious about this at all. I am expecting to waltz in there like I have been while taking zometa (a drug that protects my bones from cancer invading it) and waltz out just like I usually do. That may be somewhat naive of me. But I choose to believe that I'll be just fine. So many patients have no side effects, although they say you may be feel "flu-like" symptoms the first time. I guess I feel since I've been taking Tykerb, my body is already kinda used to this kind of substance.

I also attribute my lack of worry or anxiety to learning more about meditation and mindfulness (i.e., living in the moment) in recent months.

We'll see how it all goes - I'll make sure I report on how I'm doing afterwards!

Happy Monday, everyone!

Still Have a Cold But Functioning

I still have a cold - coughing and sneezing and snuffling - cold medicine helps with those symptoms - but I seem to be functional. Walked back and forth to my office from my son's school twice. Had my zometa appointment - tumor marker numbers should come back next week. Completed two paperwork obligations at work. Not bad for someone who's sick, eh?

No plans this week-end other than resting and cleaning up here and there at home. Speaking of which, I need to get a load of clothes in the wash .. . have a great week-end everyone!

Z-Day Today

Later this morning, I have my zometa appointment. They'll draw my blood and take my tumor markers. I'm hoping that they are the same as they were last month. I can still feel my lymph nodes under my left arm pit.

I am feeling effects of Xeloda - I gave myself a week-end off from it, though, as I could tell I needed a break. My mouth was starting to become really sensitive to spicy things . . . my digestive tract was irritated but I'll spare you the details of how I know that.

My softball team had three games this past week-end. We lost by a lot on Friday. We lost by only a few runs during our first game yesterday at 3pm. It was hot yesterday afternoon - temperature was at 91 degrees. I drank A LOT of water and then put a cold bandana around my neck. I didn't play very well. I had a couple of errors in the field and was 0-fer in terms of hitting.

We then had a second game at 4:20pm. We only lost by one run. In the first or second inning, I participated in a double play - I caught a line drive in right center and then threw the runner out on first. We'd been ahead by a couple of runs and then, in the bottom of the 6th, they tied it up. I don't think we scored any in the top of the 7th, and then they had a runner on first and I caught a long ball out in right center .. . had to go backwards a few steps for it . . . and then I extended my arm ======> just long enough to catch it. I think my teammates were holding their breath. I think that was the second out of the inning and then we got their third out on the next at-bat. So, it was still a tie-game in the bottom of the 7th. We ended up tied at the end of the 8th - both teams scored a run or two. Then, we didn't score in the top of the 9th and they got one run.

It was a close game - a fun game. I think the fact that a breeze came up and cooled things down made it easier on us. My big toes (the ones that lost the toenail last year) were sore the whole two games - the shoes were too tight in the toe-box.

Then, we went to Woodstock's and hung with members of the team for a couple of hours. Afterwards, we came home and watched Hitch until bedtime. I was bushed. Drank lots of water all afternoon and evening.

But it was a good day. The day before, we held a karaoke birthday party for Eddie. He turned 9 years old (hard to believe!). The words on the karaoke didn't work quite so well, but the kids had fun playing with the mics. We visited with the other parents. Good thing there were only 9 or 10 kids - the house couldn't have held more - because of the heat and because we only have two window units, we closed off some of the rooms and tried to contain things to just one room. In the end, I think people had fun.

Mom, dad, Scotty (my brother) and Scott (my boyfriend) all helped a lot to prepare for this party. I didn't put as much planning into this year's party as I did last year's. I feel a little bit bad about that but, on the other hand, last year I went all out with a Price is Right party for Eddie. Hard to top that. Although, I just got an idea for next year - maybe we need to try to do a Wipeout Party .. . hmmmm. Got a year to figure it out, don't I?

Z-Day Today - Tumor Marker Results Tomorrow and Upcoming Norway Travel

I had my zometa treatment today - nothing remarkable to report, other than the nurse had to stick me a second time to draw blood for my labs. If you remember, zometa keeps my bones strong.

I also treated myself to a hair cut and a pedicure. She then styled my hair and asked whether or not I'd like it straightened or curly. Since it always has a slight curl/wave to it, I asked her to straighten it. In general, I like what she did - and for some reason, my hair feels less heavy and has more movement. The only thing I don't like is that it makes my face look wide. It emphasizes my face more, I guess, and I don't think that's a good thing (trying to be realistic here), especially since my face, particularly my chin, has been breaking out lately.

Here's my hair from the front.



Of course, I only picked the most flattering picture. And, here's what it looks at in the back.




Another view of the back. Whaddya think?



My toes are a nice light orangey-red. Spring colors, for sure.

The nurse said I could call for my results tomorrow. I'm curious about them. I don't expect them to be higher - in fact, I think they'll be in the same range.

But . . . I'm preparing myself just the same. Even at their worst, though, my marker was a 36 and that was with both bb-sized spots in my bones and in my skin. Anything over 33 is suspect. I have heard of people, whose blogs I follow, having their numbers get up to over 200, in one case, and over 70 in another.

In other news, I'm heading to Guovdageaidnu/Kautokeino, Norway, on Friday. My flight is Portland to Neward to Oslo, where I land on Sat morning at 9am. I hang out in Oslo for the day then I fly to Alta, then drive 130 km to Guovdageaidnu, which is directly south of Alta, near the border with Finland, from what I can tell. I was going to say it was near the border of Sweden, but the Finland border is SOUTH. That's because Norway hangs a hood north of Sweden and Finland, if that makes any sense. I will be meeting with a few other colleagues (one from South Africa, one from Hawaii, one from Greenland, and the organizer) to plan an indigenous placenames conference in 2010. Most, if not all, of us are indigenous. The trip is being paid for by a grant from the Norwegian government.

I'm starting to get excited. I'm going to miss Eddie and Scott, of course, but this will be really really cool, professionally speaking. Well, personally, too, as I do enjoy traveling. We will meet several days, then take an excursion or two through the countryside, and meet with students and have a kind of seminar on indigenous placenames. I arrive home on the 17th. I might try to move that flight so that I get home earlier. We'll see if it's doable, though.

I've got some stuff to do beforehand, but I'm not feeling particularly stressed - it's all doable, in other words.

Have I ever mentioned that I love my work? ;o)

Eddie, the Poor Guy

Eddie is home sick again, today, with a fever that has been as high as 102.6. We leave in a few minutes to see one of the pediatricians at the clinic. Will see what they make of it.

For the most part, he hasn't had many symptoms, other than a fever and lack of appetite. Sometimes he's had a headache. For the past day or so, he has also had a stuffy nose. His eyes started to water today and one eye is puffy because he's rubbing it so much. I bet in his weakened state, he now has a sinus infection.

Poor guy. Because he couldn't breathe out of his nose last night, we both didn't sleep well.

In the meantime, today was Z-day, only now I just have to take Zometa. No more Zoladex for me, since my ovaries were removed! Yay!

The Tree Is by the Curb

Scott and I took the decorations off the tree last night and then this morning, he took the tree outside.

We were both a little sad to see it go. It was a good tree. I think I got some pictures and will have to post them when I remember. We had to take it down,though, because Eddie and I head up to Portland on Wednesday afternoon, and I have a busy couple of days before then.

I just spent the morning putting away the decorations, except for the stockings and the tablecloth, which I will get after we get back from Vegas.

I'm going to try to work on one of the syllabi for my winter term classes today, then my family is having a belated Christmas Day dinner (my sis had to work that night, so rather than try to fit everything in, we waited) later this afternoon.

Tomorrow, I take Elizabeth to see an orthopedic surgeon in Springfield in the morning, meet another job candidate in the afternoon and then hear his talk. On Tuesday, we will discuss the candidates in the morning, then I have my zoladex and zometa appointment, then the appraiser is going to stop by to continue the work for the refinance.

Wednesday morning or Tuesday night, I need to pack. I also need to pay bills, and finish the other syllabi.

Whew. I'm glad I'm getting over my cold - still a bit of nose congestion and a bit of a cough, but I almost don't notice it.

Does someone want to do my work for me? LOL

Z-Day

I think I mentioned that Z-Day was last Friday. I stayed fairly busy that whole day, but was tired from having got up early. On Saturday, I was still tired. I didn't sleep real well Friday night. But I also think that the zometa might've made me fatigued. I tend to have side effects from Zometa the day after the treatment and it didn't occur to me until Sunday that zometa might've contributed to the fatigue I felt on Saturday. I didn't get a fever - a good thing - but I do seem to get fatigued.

I had decent energy on Sunday and today, though, along with good night's sleep Saturday and Sunday. Well, good for me. I slept 7-8 hours, but woke up every 1.5 to 2 hours, which were usually associated with hot flashes.

Also, I didn't practice qi-gong Thurs and Fri night. I completed the 8 Treasures form Sat and Sun and slept better. Soooo . . . whaddya think I'm going to do? Keep practicing qi gong before bed. I believe it really helps!

Busy Holiday Week-end

I had a busy but mostly fun holiday week-end! We had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house - Eddie and I got there about noon and my sister's old friend, Debbie, was there with her boyfriend and daughter. My sis, Rena, and Debbie met when they were just 8 years old - over 30 years ago! Whew! It was fun seeing her after all these years. All totaled, we had 15 people - my folks, my two brothers, my sister and her husband and 2 kids, Debbie, Chuck and Tessa, Eddie, Scott and his daughter Ashlee and me. Dinner was delicious - and I was so happy to have an appetite.

Then, it was home to relax for a bit and then we went over to Cat and Gooey's about 7:30 or so and we all played Spoons with them. It was fun. I think I was the champion taunter - I was put out fairly early in the game and managed to get a couple of people to talk to me which sped up their exit from the game! Hee hee. Cat's dad said that he didn't know I talked so much - normally I'm quiet, but I really tried to keep talking during the game! I told him that I was competitive! : )

Then, I got up at 3am and my friends picked me up at 3:30am to go shopping on Black Friday. It was fun - there were certainly crowds but I didn't really see much rudeness or shoving or wild crowds. I would never go by myself, but because my friends go for the deals, it's a good excuse to hang with them and see this phenomenon. I think I got good deals on most of the items - some things were 50-70% off the retail price - and I think I got most of my Christmas shopping done and even some birthday presents (I have four birthdays and one anniversary coming up in January and February).

Friday afternoon was Z-Day - my appointment for the Zometa IV and Zoladex pellet in my belly. Scott went with me and met the nurse, J, who has given me 4 of my past 5 treatments. Scott got an idea of what it is I have to do.

Friday night, my son Eddie was in the Christmas parade - his dad works for the city and Eddie gets to ride in the holiday trolley. Bennett Hall, a reporter for the local paper, interviewed me and Ashlee about the parade. Here is a link to the article. My friends, John and Gina, rode in the hummer for a Pepsi float (John works at Pepsi). Some other friends were sitting down the street from me. Ashlee thought it was kinda cool that I knew people all around me. The joys of a small town!

On Saturday, I took Eddie to the local Train Show - but now he says that it's "boring" so we didn't stay long. I then took Ashlee to a few holiday craft fairs and we found a stocking that she can use at my house - complete with a leopard print. We found a few more stocking stuffers and I finally found a new book bag as the one that I'd been using for five years was falling apart finally. I wanted to get to bed early - I was really tired. I got clingy with Scott when he went home yesterday - I felt pretty lonely. I think that in addition to not sleeping well and then getting up early for Black Friday, the Z-day treatments had me dragging energy-wise.

Bless Scott's heart - he came back down this morning to spend the day with me - Ash stayed at home and Eddie was with his dad. I was really happy he did. We had breakfast, then ran some errands, he helped clean out my vacuum cleaner and rearrange my front room a bit (I sold the wood stove last week and now have more room). My folks came over and dad and Scotty (my brother) strung up my Christmas lights - yay! we even got lawn decorations up, too! -and Scotty helped install more software for the new iMac - mom helped me do some kitchen clean-up and then Scott (the boyfriend) went home.

All in all - a great week-end spent with friends and family - lots of shopping and we got some of my home chores accomplished!

I hope you all had a great week-end, too!

Zometa Side Effects - Minimal

I had my third zometa treatment on Friday. My temperature was slightly elevated Friday evening - and I felt a bit tired. I also had a slightly elevated temperature Saturday afternoon and a bit of a headache. But, overall, it didn't keep me from doing anything. I'm glad I took it easy on Friday. The nurses at the infusion center also said I should drink lots of water to help flush out what my body didn't use. Maybe that helped? Anyway, glad it wasn't worse!

Have a good Monday tomorrow, everyone!

P.S. A big thank you to my folks, who put plastic on my windows - to try to help with heating costs this year. Not sure where I'd be if it weren't for my folks. I try to help them out as much as possible, too, but in different ways. I love you both!

Z-Day Today

Today is "Z-Day", in which I get the Zoladex injected into my abdomen (shuts down my ovaries) and Zometa is given to me intravenously (strengthens my bones to make it harder for cancer to attach to the bone). I started Zometa two months ago - and have had two Zometa IV's. Each time, I ended up with a slight fever on Day 2 and general feeling of fatigue. Not bad in terms of side effects. It just means I take it easy that day. Good thing as today, I wanted to take Eddie trick-or-treating at the downtown merchants. He is going as a "Whammy", which is that little red Tasmanian devil cartoon creature that takes prizes away from contestants on the show "Press Your Luck". I'll take a picture and post it!

Hmm . . . Still Pondering That Conversation

Today, I had a check-up with my oncologist. It started out fairly well - every time I see him, they ask me to fill out a form about any medical issues/side effects I may be having. I sat there and thought, hmm, I don't really have any, other than the healing wound and lymphedema. (Got a f#*@in' bee sting yesterday that's sorta making my knee stiff - it's right below my knee - and I want to scratch it!) I've been getting hot flashes, but not too badly. My sleep has been really good this past week or so - I've been sleeping at least 3-hour stretches the past few nights. I have energy. I just have a bit of pain where the lymphedema is, but it's intermittent. So, I wrote on the form, "Hey! It's nice to just have 'normal' problems!" The nurse and my onc chuckled at that.

He looked at the wound and the area that was radiated and he didn't see any signs of cancer and neither did he feel any lumps. Cool.

Then, we looked at my CT scan. I asked him what he meant by some spots being somewhat bigger and how that was related to the healing process. He said that the body is trying to seal off and contain these small colonies of cancer cells that are in my bone marrow, so it takes calcium out of the serum - the circulatory system- and surrounds it with a layer of calcium. Sometimes, cancer pokes out of the calcium shell and starts growing. It didn't look like that was happening in my body as he just saw the calcium spots. So, when a spot does get bigger, sometimes it means that the body is adding another calcium layer on top of what's there.

Zometa makes my bones themselves stronger. By making it stronger, it makes it harder for cancer to lodge in the bone itself. He likened it to a worm going through sandstone versus a worm trying to make a hole in granite. Zometa makes my bones more like granite. Cool. I have no cancer on the bone itself and we want to keep it that way.

I wondered if, in the healing, the body was leaching calcium out of my bones and that made them weaker and he said that that wasn't the case. It's taking calcium out of the serum in the bone marrow. Both cancer and cancer treatments can make bones weaker. But Zometa will take care of that.

I asked about whether or not those calcium deposits (now surrounding dead tumors- at least that's what I think) in my marrow would ever disappear. In his opinion, he feels that they are likely to never go away. Sometimes, the body dissolves those calcium deposits. But not very often.

Bummer. I'd hoped that those buggers would go away. I will continue with my visualization to get rid of them.

I then asked about when someone is considered to be in remission. He said that there are different definitions of remission. The first is when there is no progression of disease, that a plateau of sorts has been reached so that there are no new spots and whatever spots there are aren't getting bigger. That's where I'm at. The second definition is when all the tests show "no evidence of disease". He doesn't feel that I will ever be in that category.

Hmm. Guess I'll have to prove him wrong.

Then, on my way out, I asked about reconstruction surgery. His reply was, "not in your lifetime". (What? That was a surprise to me.) He just didn't think the skin and tissue there would ever be able to handle a surgery like that. At least, that's what I gathered. I told him that my plastic surgeon thought that he could do reconstruction. So, my oncologist said that he'd defer to the surgeon on this one. At the very least, we'd have to be sure that there was no disease left there in the skin before considering surgery.

Okay. That calls for another consultation with the surgeon. I will wait until this wound heals and then schedule that appointment. And give the whole area a few months to be sure that nothing returns in the skin.

Hmm. Guess I'll have to prove my oncologist wrong, again.

Overall, he did say that he was pleased that we'd achieved stable. He seems satisfied with that. But, I'm going for NED. And, reconstruction. Never say never, right?

A Nice Chat With My Oncologist

My oncologist called me Sunday afternoon to talk about the CT scan and how the wound was healing and, I guess, just to assess where I'm at in all of my treatments.

He asked how the wound was healing and whether or not I saw any signs of cancer in the skin. I reported that the wound was healing pretty well and I didn't see any signs of cancer (I double-checked this morning).

I then asked if he'd had a chance to compare the CT scan from Feb and the one from Aug and he said he did and there was definitely no signs of any new spots on my bones. He mentioned again that a couple of them were bigger, but that it could be because they are healing. I need to ask him more about what that means- the biological process behind it.

I told him about the Zometa side effects I experienced (only a few hours of fever/flu-like symptoms) and he said that that was typical, but shouldn't be quite as bad the next time. He said that Zometa should certainly help the bones.

I asked where the rib fractures were and he mentioned that they were in the 4th, 5th and 6th ribs.

Then, I asked his opinion on how he thought I was doing. He said that he was actually quite pleased. He admitted that he'd been afraid that while we were busy trying to eradicate the cancer in my skin, that the cancer would crop out somewhere else. So, the fact that it didn't made him happy.

So, overall, it was a good report and a good chat. I promised him that I would not dive for any more volleyballs for awhile! He chuckled at that.

I figured it's always a good thing for an oncologist to laugh.

Zometa Side Effects

I had my zometa injection on Wednesday and felt fine the rest of that day. Felt fine when I woke up Thursday morning. Now that my son's started school, I'm starting to walk regularly again - it's about a 10-12 min walk from his school to my office. We're having really nice weather - clear and sunny, so it's a nice walk especially when I get on campus, which is beautifully landscaped. I then walked to my acupuncturist's office - it takes me about 25-30 min but I took my time, strolling through neighborhood streets and enjoying the weather. I walked back to my office later and then I picked up my son. All told, I think I walked almost an hour and a half yesterday, which is more than I'm used to.

So, I felt fatigued yesterday afternoon. Figured it was all the walking. But I also wondered if I had a fever as my forehead felt warm. Had dinner at my folks' house and then got home about 5pm or so. I just felt really tired and warm again, so I took my temp and it was 99.8. Sigh!

Started to worry about that - wondered if I was getting an infection from the wound and then it hit me. Ah! Zometa does have fever as one of the most frequent side effects. So, I got out my little info packet on Zometa and there, underneath fever was the sentence "flu-like symptoms, such as malaise, fever, bone and joint aches, and fatigue, but this usually only occurs the first time".

Hmm. Okay. That explains it. I also felt some achiness and had a couple of chills.

So, I rested most of the evening. Played Trouble and Uno Spin with Eddie. Went to bed early.

And, woke up feeling normal again. When I realized that the symptoms had gone away, I started feeling a bit feisty, a bit giddy, and a bit silly. I guess I don't take feeling normal for granted much anymore.

Feeling normal makes me happy. There's something to be said for that, huh? : )

With that in mind, here's a new joke a friend sent me:

A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...

Hard to Find

Supportive

Comfortable

Always Lifts You Up

Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging

And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

Some more on Zometa

I found this site about how Zometa might work. You know what I say? Cool! I think I like it already!

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100004910.html

The way I understand it is that your bones are always being rebuilt and reformed by two kinds of cells called osteoclasts and osteoblasts. Osteoclasts take away the old bone and osteoblasts help rebuild new bone.

But when there are bone metastases from breast or prostate cancer (according to this report), it's like the osteoclasts get carried away and take away too much bone. Zometa binds to the bone and stops the osteoclasts from breaking it down too much.

Also, breastcancer.org had this to say about Zometa and bone mets in May 2008 - see the sidebar to the right. Early results of Phase I studies suggest that Zometa makes it harder for cancer cells to survive, grow, and reproduce in bone.

http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/chemotherapy/new_research/20080516b.jsp

A news report states the following:

"Tumor cells are continually being released from the primary tumor," Dr. Rebecca Aft, of Barnes Jewish Hospital and Washington University in St. Louis, said in a statement.

"It is thought that the bone marrow harbors these cells and that these cells are likely to evolve into metastatic disease. We think that zoledronic acid changes the bone marrow so that cancer cells are unable to lodge there."

See why I think I will like this drug? Now that I think that the little cancer cell factory has been shut down (the primary tumor), that leaves those little buggers hiding out in my bone marrow. The researchers felt that Zometa changes the bone marrow so that cells cannot stay there.

Take that, you little buggers!