Lymph Nodes Update - and Cleaning My Office

My lymph nodes on the left side are still swollen and tender.  But nothing more or less than they've been the last week.  Dr. K called me on Sunday, while I was playing softball, to ask me how I was doing.  I'm doing fine.  As well as can be expected.  I get tired, but that doesn't seem unusual.  I'm still fairly active during the day. 

I have been dealing with what I think is plantar fasciitis.  I've chatted about it with both my physical therapist and my acupuncturist and they've given me some exercises and other tips to help.  Not sure if it's caused by my Chacos or by wearing the Keens all winter and walking without enough arch support.  My acupuncturist said that it is caused by the fascia not having enough fluids - and in general, a lot of my tissues are drier than usual because of the treatments. I do drink a lot of water every day - so it's not a matter of not getting enough fluids in my body - it's more that the fluids aren't getting to where they need to go. 

In work news, I haven't been doing much actual work - but have been cleaning and reorganizing my office.  I took out a couple of big desks and replaced them with narrower tables and another filing cabinet.  B. is helping me - and she's great!  I think I'm getting closer . . . once it's done, then I can turn my head to some actual work.  Because then I can actually find whatever it is I need!  LOL

In other news, I have been slowly getting back into dating again ... I have one coming up this week-end.  At the very least, this guy and I share a love for the Oregon coast.  I have no expectations . . . I figure this may take time.  I figure I don't really need a man.  It would just be nice.  I'm happy being single.  I love my life.  Sharing it with someone would be a bonus.  I will say that I'm very up front about my cancer status on my profile .. . something as big as having metastatic breast cancer is not something you spring on someone later. 

Well, off to enjoy the sun!

Coloring meditation and reconstruction news

I had my second radiation treatment today - stil uneventful. I noted last night, though, that the skin under the implant was redder. My rad onc said that they actually want to see red skin from the radiation because it means that the radiation is hitting its target.

And, my title yesterday "5 Million Down, 5 Million to Go" had to do with the idea that each radiation treatment kills only about 50% of the cells. I have no idea how many of the little buggers are running around there, but radiation cut it in half yesterday and half again today. 10 million seemed like a good round number. So, yesterday, we got rid of 5 million, but then some of those divided in the last day, so say there were 5.5 million (just guessing) today, radiation got rid of half, so I'm at about 2.75 million already! Or, at least, one hopes. Time will tell.

Also, because of the lymphedema under the tissue expander, I got this idea last week that perhaps the skin punch biopsy had poked a little hole in the implant and that when I used my arm repetitively, it was causing some of the fluid to leak out of the tissue expander into that area and causing more swelling. So, I saw my plastic surgeon today and he said that, no, it seemed fine because he thought that the implant would be a lot flatter.

My plastic surgeon did say, however, that now that I'm getting radiation again to that same area, that I am no longer a good candidate for an implant. Instead, he would recommend a pedicle (I think) flap procedure where they would take some of my tissue (probably from my belly) and bring it up under the skin. He thought I would still have an implant on the left. They won't match exactly, but I'd look more or less normal under my clothes. In terms of timing, it would probably be months before that happened, but that we could do the surgery locally. After radiation, he'd probably want to wait at least a month before doing surgery. I asked him how that might work if I still had an open wound and he did say that since he's been here, he was involved in one surgery where the woman had a rather large skin ulceration and cancer in her chest wall. He said that they were only going to try to salvage what they could, but that the end result was better than expected. I think what he told me is that if I still had an open wound, they might go ahead with surgery. I guess that means I won't worry about these 5+ pounds I've gained since taking Xeloda!! Maybe the flap procedure will take care of it for me! : )

I colored the mandala again today -it's kinda cool that they keep all the supplies there for patients to use. Interestingly, after my treatment today, they said the nurse and the dietitian wanted to see me, so while I waited, I colored some more. Then, the nurse took my blood pressure - 116/62! Really good, huh? Then, I had to go to the wound care nurse and then she took my blood pressure again. Last time, her automatic cuff hurt, so I was thinking about that . . . and my blood pressure jumped to 120/82. Yikes! I'd also walked up the stairs about 10 minutes before that. (Note: I took a picture of it the day after I posted it and decided to put it here instead of in a new post.)



Also, I think I concluded after last night that I'm not quite ready to date again. I thought I might be ready, but my heart really isn't in it. So, while I'm not going to shut down my profile on eharmony, I will not also pursue communication with any new matches. It's okay . . . I still need some time to process stuff!

5 Million Down, 5 Million to Go - Also, a Day of Firsts

So, I had my first radiation treatment today (well, the first one in 5+ years) and it was uneventful. The whole time I was laying on the table and the machine was whirring, I imagined a ray blasting those cancer cells to smithereens, and, then, alternatively, a cleansing/purifying shower washing out the dirty cancer and replacing it with pure clean water. I need to practice my visualization more. They were running a bit late, but while I waited in the waiting room, I was able to relax while coloring this mandala coloring book. They had some colored pencils that I was using. It was kinda fun coming up with a color design on the mandala. I loved designs like that as a kid and I enjoyed coloring. I enjoyed the focus and I think it helped put me in a frame of mind where I could imagine cancer cells dying.

I also had my first date with Boat Guy. I forgot to tell him, though, that I blogged about him, so until I do, I'm going to take down that post about dating again. The date was fine - we're still getting to know each other. I don't feel like I can say more . . . so while I might tell you in person, I'm not going to blog about it at the moment! Sorry! : )