WARNING! Bitch Session

If you don't want to hear (i.e., "read") me bitch and complain, then this isn't a post for you. In fact, I'm already coming out the other side and am tired of the bitching and complaining that's been going on in my head. But I'm gonna bitch and complain anyway because it makes me happy to get it out of my system.

I am so very tired of this wound and growth. It is consistently leaking out - I wake up i the morning, and the dressing is leaking somewhere. The other day it was all over the back of my shoulder. This morning, it was dripping out below. When I woke up at 4:30am (when I took some Tylenol), I put a washcloth there under my arm to catch the drips. It was wet and my pajama shirt was wet, too. It makes me feel ugly.

I'm also tired of the pain. There's both nerve pain and other general pain, including on the implant. The growth is pressing on my implant and I feel pressure there. I can see a couple of veins on the implant, which I assume arose because of the pressure.

Also, last night, the damn thing started bleeding a lot. It was bleeding on the underside of the muffin top, where I had been packing the underside with an AMD drain sponge to catch fluid. I guess the tissue under there degraded enough and it started bleeding. I luckily have this powder that I can put on the bleeding part which forms a layer - it's like it clots the blood and creates a boundary so that the wound won't bleed. I thought I had covered enough of it so I started putting on the rest of the dressing and when I looked a few minutes later, I found that I had dripped four drops of blood on my quilt. GRRRR!

The skin where I attach the clear transparent dressing (which is supposed to keep the fluid in) is getting pretty tender and sore from repeated adhesive on it. It's red, almost like a skinned knee.

I also ran out of this dressing called "Mepiplex Border Lite", which I put first on the wound. This dressing doesn't stick to the wound when you take it off. I called in a reoder on Thurs and hoped that it would get here yesterday, but it didn't. They don't carry this stuff in stores, so I need to get something else (probably Telfa) today. I hope it comes in tomorrow.

To sum up, then, I cannot wait for surgery. Seven months of dressing changes and pain is more than enough. Countdown - 5 days and 9 or 10 dressing changes!!!!!!!!