Abraxane Today

I had an Abraxane treatment this morning and it went off without a hitch. I didn't get much work done, though. But that's okay. My blood counts were on the low end, but were high enough for treatment.

I then went to lunch with a friend - I had chicken noodle soup and because I had a cough (maybe from my bagel, which was plain white - I wanted multigrain as it's better for me), the soup was a great choice as it stopped my cough.

I just want to get over this cold.

I was supposed to make an appearance for dinner at the Longhouse this evening, but luckily, the guest (Tom Arviso, publisher of Navajo Times) had to cancel his trip, so now I get to stay home and rest. I feel guilty as I haven't been able to get to the Longhouse all term.

But then I remember that I've had at least 60 if not closer to 70 appointments since the term started in mid-September.

So, the rest of tonight, I'm resting.

Tomorrow, I am attending a workshop entitled "Psycho-Emotional Transformation" which will be taught by my acupuncturist. We'll be talking about Chinese medicine theory and will get some qigong moves and acupressure points to help patients unstick stagnant energy. I'm sure that I'll gain some energy from this session.

And, Sunday, more work on the grant proposal . . . it's due on Monday.

I am not the least bit concerned . . .

Dr. K called me yesterday, while my son and I were searching for his game. He told me he had talked to Dr. D from UW. And he said, and I quote, "Now I am confused as to what to do."

It seemed to him (my doctor) that Dr. D said to go ahead and do what he thinks he should do in terms of my care, but if at all possible, if we can manage the symptoms of the inflammation, could we wait to start anything, at least until my next scheduled trip to Seattle. So the message he got was go ahead and treat but they really wish you wouldn't. Dr. D said that they would like to give the treatment the time it needs to really work.

So I suspect that many might be concerned about my doctor admitting that he was confused. But I am not. I like that he is truthful and honest with me. There haven't been many Phase III clinical trials for patients in my situation. Even Dr. D said that the "inflammatory flare" that she thinks happened to me was only something she's read about in the literature. The trial I am in is a Phase I/II trial, which means that they don't know what will happen - that is the point of a trial like this. So it leaves my medical team wondering about the best course of action: wait and see if the t-cell infusions work, which might be 6-10 months (which would be December 2010 to April 2011 for me)? That might risk further progression of the tumors, maybe so much that it gets out of control.

Do radiation now, which would get rid of the third boob, but would also kill off those lovely t-cells we worked hard to produce? In theory, I think my body would continue to produce t-cells, but maybe not in the quantity that I had after the infusion (16 billion is a lot, I assume). Radiation would improve my sleep - my lower back is achey after sleepy on my back or belly for weeks now. I can't sleep on my right side (lots of scar tissue damage from surgery and radiation and lymphedema) and now I can't sleep on my left side because of the nodules, inflammation, and tissue necrosis which is located under my left armpit, towards the back.

I have appointments with the radiation oncologist and my regular oncologist next week, plus one with my acupuncturist.

I do have a lot of purple-gray skin where the nodules are, which Dr. D says is tissue necrosis, which is mainly dying skin. This is a good thing because it means the t-cells are there working to kill the cancer there in the skin.

Radiation would probably cause more inflammation and probably means more pain. I might have long term side effects like I do on the right side in terms of lymphedema, which means I might be doomed to be a back or belly sleeper for the rest of my life . . . And there would be some tissue damage, too.

Hmmmmm, what to do? At the beginning of this week, I was pretty sure I would do radiation. But now upon further consideration, I might wait. I will know more after I talk to the docs next week. My next appointment at UW is Sept 16. So, maybe let Dr. D see the area before starting new treatment, see if this gets better, and then go from there. I think now that the purplish gray is a good thing. My body is doing what it needs to do, so I should just let it. Give it time to do it's thing.

Patience is a virtue. As is honesty. I also like being the one to make a decision for my treatment . . . Dr. K, I think, is used to frightened people who just want the damn cancer to go away. He isn't so used to having a patient like me who questions every step and who takes an active role in my own treatment. And that's a good thing. I like him because he is willing to listen to my concerns and to let me make my own treatment decisions. It is very empowering.

I want to avoid taking any kind of taxol (Taxol, Taxotere, Abraxane) chemotherapy or any kind of chemo for that matter. It seems to be that that kind of chemo, while it bludgeons the cancer, it also bludgeons your body's immune system, making it harder for it to fight any cancer that is remaining. So it comes back, eventually, and then you have to keep resorting to the bludgeon and each time, you get weaker. That isn't for me.

That is why I say that I am trying to heal from the cancer, not fight it. As my friend, R said to me last year, have I tried loving the cancer? It is a part of me after all. Isn't hating it like hating myself? The cancer is my own body's cells going out of control and my immune system is so weakened from so many artificial toxins in our environment that my body can't get it under control. This is what Chinese Medicine says is going on and I tend to believe it these days. The trick is to help support my own immune system. So I will listen to what my acupuncturist says, too, next week. She just came back from a weekend workshop with her mentor, who specializes in cancer, and she's anxious to share what she learned from him with me.

I will end with this thought: the last CT scan I had mentioned a very small suspicious spot on my liver, so I asked Dr. K what he thought about that. His answer: you are too healthy for it to be cancer.

I credit Chinese Medicine for that.

I think this all means that I will wait, at least until mid-Sept, to figure out what to do. Give my body plenty of opportunity to rest and relax. And make monthly trips to the Coast, I think.

Doing Okay

I woke up today and decided to go to work. I decided that if those spots in my left lung are cancer, they've been there for awhile (weeks or months) and I've been feeling happy. I was ignorant of these spots, yes, but I was still hopeful for the future. So, the only thing that changed was the knowledge that they were there. Might as well just continue on as I have, enjoying my life to the fullest. I also got to thinking that it is certainly a reminder to slow down again.

I also got an email from Anna (at NSF) and one of the things in the email had to do with the lack of participation of indigenous people and women during presentation for the International Polar Year. Sooo, it reminded me that there is still a lot of work yet to be done in terms of including indigenous peoples and women in scientific undertakings. It reminded me that I'm first and foremost an anthropologist, too. Not a cancer patient. Perhaps an anthropologist who happens to have cancer. But it still reminded me of who I am and the reasons why I do the work I do. Got that fighting spirit back.

So, other than shedding a few tears with my office staff at this latest news (they're both struggling with budget woes here in Oregon - lots of staff layoffs on the horizon), I managed to have a more or less normal day. Teaching in my first class was fun - my students seem to be interested and engaged and I always feed off their energy. Again, it served to remind me why I'm here. My second class went well, too.

I had a late meeting (complicated by my walking the wrong way across campus to get to where my car was parked), but when I came home, I was able to visit with Scott (he and Rick and Chris, Rick's son-in-law) tore down this horrible old fence that was falling down in my yard. Scott has thankfully taken over managing the building of a new fence - that whole side of the yard will look much much better when all is said and done. I also spent time with Eddie. Scott and I enjoyed teasing Eddie, then I helped him with his homework, and then we played on his Big Wheel - spinning to get higher scores. That was fun, too. Then, it was American Idol. My favorites are Allison and Anoop and Adam and Danny.

So, tonight, as I was responding to another blogger on her blog about my latest news, the question came up about how is it I have lung spots when my tumor markers are well within normal range. I thought I'd heard that tuberculosis rates were up either in Alaska or in the Lower 48, and since in recent years, I've struggled each winter and even last summer with a persistent cough - I catch a cold and my cough hangs on and on for weeks - I got to wondering if it was tuberculosis. It does show up on a CT scan. Might I have it? I think my mom may have had it at some point and I will call her tomorrow and ask. I was just in Alaska in October.

I then googled "tuberculosis ct scan" and found a discussion group where the people also talked about having these spots on the CT scan, only to have their biopsies come up negative for cancer. These spots can be caused by simple inflammation or infection. My question is what is the relationship between this intermittent persistent cough that I get (this past winter mid-to-late Jan and for about a week or so after my surgery), for about 8 weeks last summer, last winter for several weeks, the winter before that for several weeks, etc.

So, I'm not entirely convinced it is cancer. Low tumor markers sorta argue against it. Having some kind of chronic, intermittent cough might be related to period inflammation that clears up and comes back.

I'm still going to do the prudent thing - take Tykerb again - and will also begin taking a Chinese herbal mix (Paris 7) that helps with lung health, in general. My acupuncturist says that it'll help with lung infections, inflammation, and cancer, so it can't really go wrong and there aren't really any side effects. She reminded me of a qigong move (a breathing exercise) that emphasizes lung health. And, get good rest.

So, I got a plan. My plan includes not seeing anything on a CT scan in three months. Thank you, jmoore4you, for telling me that your spots cleared up. That's what mine are going to do, too.

Good night everyone. Sweet dreams.

Zometa and Zoladex Tomorrow

It's official - I will start Zometa tomorrow. I haven't had a chance to properly discuss this with my doctor as I don't see him for two weeks, but I have done enough on-line research to know that it's probably going to help. I had already scheduled my Zoladex appointment (that's the abdomen injection that shuts down my ovary production) for tomorrow, so I called my doctor's office and asked him if he also wanted to order the Zometa at the same time.

As I understand it, Zometa helps the bone-building process since caner that's metastasized to the bones either takes out or uses some parts of your bones (not sure exactly what the process), giving you less bone mass, or else, it adds extra bone to your bones. But in any case, both tend to weaken your bones and make you more prone to fracture. This helps makes your bones stronger.

There was apparently also some research that says that Zometa helped premenopausal breast cancer patients by making it somewhat less likely that cancer would metastasize to the bone. The reports say by 36%, but it had to do with a study of 1800 patients (I think), in which half got Zometa and half didn't (all were premenopausal, early stage breast cancerpatients). 6% of those on Zometa ended up with bone metastases versus 9% of those who didn't get it. 6% of 900 is 54 patients with Zometa, versus 81 patients without Zometa.

There are side effects (fever, nausea, dizziness, bone and joint pain), but the average percentage of folks who did were relatively low. So, it seems like a good thing to do.

This brings my total western medicine drugs up to four:
Xeloda - an oral chemotherapy
Tykerb - an anti-Her-2-neu targeted therapy
Zoladex - shuts down the ovary production
Zometa - builds bone

And, for acupuncture, I am on the following herbs:
5-mushroom blend - three of which have been scientifically shown to have anti-cancer properties
Paris 7 - a variety of herbs that fight toxic heat with one that may have anti-cancer properties
Gynnostemma - a variety of herbs that helps support your blood and help one of your energy systems

I also take turmeric in pill form (which has helped against melanoma) and also melatonin which helps sleep and which has also been shown to be affective against breast cancer cells in mice.

Take that, nasty cancer!

Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine

I saw my acupuncturist today. Her name is Brodie Welch and she runs Life in Balance Acupuncture here in Corvallis. She's the one who has prescribed some herbs and a five-mushroom pill for me. It was while using the five-mushroom blend (three of the five have anti-cancer properties) that I noticed that the red rash on the mastectomy area stopped spreading.

I'd heard previously that acupuncture can help with nausea, but I didn't seek out an acupuncturist for the chemo treatments five years ago. I told Brodie that I have had a few episodes of nausea with Xeloda and Tykerb, but that they usually went away if I ate something - usually something bland and sweet (those Girl Scout Trefoils are great for that!) - and if I made sure to drink lots of water.

In addition to the nausea, I told her that some of the other symptoms I have are: feeling thirsty and waking up in the middle of the night with a dry mouth, a couple of mouth sores (nothing that interferes with my eating), hot flashes, other menopausal symptoms like vaginal dryness (sorry for being explicit, gentlemen!), and acne. Her interpretation: that I have a lot of toxic heat in my system between the cancer and the chemo drugs and my body is trying to let it escape. She suggested that I drink peppermint tea - it has a cooling effect and can help with nausea - and that I swish with aloe vera juice for the mouth sores, both because it has a cooling effect but also antibiotic properties. I decided to try the aloe vera gel on my face for those same reasons. I'll let you know how that experiment works.

But amazingly, since the acupuncture treatment yesterday, I haven't had any nausea! My stomach and digestive system feel just about normal. Although I had a little bit of a pastry with my toast (since I figured I needed more in my stomach when I took the Xeloda), I don't feel dizzy or nauseous. She also put these carrow (I think?) seeds on my ear, at a few acupressure points. They are taped onto the ear in places that relate to various energetic parts of your body - the liver chi, the stomach chi, the kidney chi, I think one for my lower back (which has been sore since I heard the diagnosis). She also gave me magnets to put onto stomach/nausea pressure points above my wrist. I asked her how they work and she said that the pressure reminds the body to dial into (divert healing energy?) that system to relieve the nausea. Two of the seeds do kinda hurt when I press on them, so maybe that means that they are working to help with the nausea and maybe even the worry and tension.

I bought a book on acupuncture yesterday so that I can understand the whole system better. As an anthropologist, I am interested in how different cultures conceive of health and healing, so I find it fascinating. It's helping, that's all I know, and I want to know why!

Have a great day! I saw this really nice large rhododendron bush blooming on the quad near the MU on my walk to campus today. Big pretty pink blooms! Yesterday, while walking to the acupuncturist's office, I saw lots of miniature daffodils, dwarf irises, crocuses in all colors, and this little white flower that looks like a blue bell. I love spring! It was warm here, too, yesterday - partly sunny and 63 according to my car. Yay!