Sunday, June 21, 2009

Oh, the guilt of a daughter . . .

So, I completely messed up and didn't call my dad for Father's Day. Mom had to remind me. And, I even said "Happy Father's Day" to Scott. And, my son was with his father in the early part of this day to celebrate Father's Day with him.

I'm just too wrapped up in my own thing - the meeting at NSF, Scott moving in, picking up Eddie, a wedding reception and birthday party yesterday, a barbecue and softball game today - that I just forgot to wish my own father a Happy Father's Day.

I was also traveling during Mother's Day - that was when I went to Norway - so I didn't even celebrate my own mother's day and no one said "Happy Mother's Day" to me, not even my folks. I didn't say that to my mom. Mom didn't seem upset - perhaps because she knew I was traveling (I did, however, leave a gift certificate for them to use and mom was able to get some shirts). They didn't wish me happy mother's day. Scott didn't wish me happy mother's day. Eddie didn't wish me happy mother's day.

I'm not saying that to make anyone else feel guilty. But my dad is taking it kind of hard, so I'm feeling guilty. My dad does do a lot of favors for me, after all. And, I appreciate his help and support.

So, I called my dad to say Happy Father's Day, but it wasn't soon enough.

I feel guilty. Not sure what to do about it because I feel if I changed my plans for the day or whatever, dad would know that I did it out of guilt and not because it was something I did because I remembered and wanted to do something nice.

What a dilemma! Should I do something out of guilt which might have the end result of assuaging hurt feelings? Or, would it make things worse because my dad would know I did it out of guilt and not because it was something from the heart?

Well, as I sit here and type, I think I'll call my dad up again and say that I'll take him out for lunch or dinner tomorrow. And apologize again, of course. Thanks for listening as I worked through my guilt!


mapdr said...

Seriously, I'd chalk this one up to "Oh, shit." If you haven't already called with your tail between your legs, let it pass. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt. Make it up at some later date...stop by with tickets to a show, movie, or go shopping together....later. That way, it is less about the forgetting of someone else's idea of when we should celebrate our father's (total marketing ploy by the way)and is more about appreciating your dad.

Dee said...

Good idea, Renee. Thanks for laying it all out there - because I do know it's all a marketing ploy and that was part of my struggle. And, I think I know how to make it up to her . . .