Wound Humor

Remember that granulated tissue* - the thing growing up and out? - in which I wondered if it was a new lymph node or a new boob?

Well, I posted a link to my blog post on Facebook and one of my friends responded with, "I'm a seamstress. I can make a bra for the growth."

That made me chuckle!

Then yesterday, I posted on Facebook that my wound is draining "buckets" and then she wrote, "Oh, great. Now I have to make a diaper, too?"

I wrote back, "Yes. Can you make it out of Sham-WOW?"

She wrote, "Of course. Is neon yellow okay?"

Ha ha ha ha.

Speaking of the amount of drainage, I wrote on Facebook this morning that the wound is now a "3 sponge" wound. However, I think this is funnier:

My wound is now a 3-pack a day drainer. I had been getting by with one pack of drain sponges a day for several weeks - and even then they hardly got soaked. But now? When I got home from work yesterday, my dressing was already leaking with two packages. So, I upped it to three packages.

My wound has a 3-pack a day habit.

I'm going to have a CT scan next Friday. Because the contrast is hard on the kidneys, they drew blood for a Chem-12 panel as well as a CBC. I noticed that one of the measures (like for sodium or potassium or whatever) was for something called a "BUN". (I immediately thought of "bum" or "butt".)

Fortunately, my BUN is perfect! (BUN is "blood urea nitrogen".)

*The nurse, K, told me today that with open wounds, when the body is trying to reconstruct the tissue, i.e. granulated wounds, the granulated tissue sometimes goes "crazy" and grows all sorts of weird bumps and lumps.

The body sure is weird, eh? I have granulated tissue that needs a bra; the wound needs a diaper because it's developed a 3-pack a day habit; and my BUN is perfect. What more can a girl ask for?