Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Body Works In Mysterious Ways

This is an update on my wound. It's still big. It's still draining.

The surgeon noted that one of the satellite lesions seemed bigger. In fact, all the satellite lesions seem to be growing up and out. I think this is due to inflammation, though, and not necessarily to cancer growth. If you recall, last summer, after I had the t-cell (Herminator-2) cell infusions and then I had Herceptin, I had an "inflammatory flare" - the whole area became more swollen as part of an immune response. The fact that almost all the tissue in this area is getting darker with each dressing change tells me that there is tissue necrosis.

So, even with the rising tumor marker number, I'm trusting the CT scan.

Then, there's the lesion near my breast bone, on the scar of my TRAM flap. The CT scan said it was "less prominent". However, it feels like it's sticking out more. My friend, T., said that maybe what's happening there is that as it shrinks, it's contracting and therefore sticking out more. I like that explanation. The tumor is more at the surface than deep.

When Dr. K and I looked at the CT scan, it seemed like there was a layer of good tissue between my ribs/chest wall and the tumor. It also seemed like there was a layer of good tissue under the breast bone lesion.

I mentioned these observations to my acupuncturist the other day and I said it seems as if my body is pushing the cancer out of it. She said, "or maybe your body is walling itself away from the cancer".

Either way, I like the idea that my body is protecting itself, whether by walling itself up or pushing cancer out. I even think that since the wound is about 6"x4" big, the body is finding the biggest or most convenient opening to push out the last of the cancer. So, while it's really kinda yucky to see the bulbous masses swelling up and out in the wound, my visualization is kind of a good one - I picture all sorts of oompa loompas (see my visualizations in the wound in my right breast in 2008) and other unusual entities gradually cleaning up the cancer all over my body, pushing or even escorting or sweeping those nasty cells out toward my armpit. It reminds me of sweeping dirt out of the door of a tent or a cabin.

Yep, that's what's happening in my body. It works in mysterious ways!


Joanna said...

I really like how you can visualize the healing. I have told you before and I will again that I really admire you.

Maiah said...

Hi Dee,
Had been thinking about you off and on lately and I found your blog today. How powerful and brave it is of you to share your experience with the world.

I have to tell you when I read the part about your body pushing the cancer out, it gave me chills...for me that usually means it's true.

Sending love and light your way. I hope you have opportunities for coloring :-)

joyfully, Maureen (The Mandala Lady)