Tuesday, July 7, 2009

CT Scan Results .. . OR My six-month "vacation" is over

As you all know, I had a CT scan last week. My doctor, Dr. K, called me with the results this afternoon. After getting the tumor markers yesterday, I wasn't too surprised to hear that the three spots on my left lung are bigger. He did say, however, that after three months time, they could've gotten a lot bigger. But they grew by about half a cm. The good news is that there aren't any other spots.

So, as I said yesterday, I'm going back on a full dose of Tykerb and I even started taking a smaller dose of Xeloda today. I haven't had Xeloda since December and my last full dose of Tykerb was in mid-January, before my surgery. Since April, I've taken about a half-dose of Tykerb (not consistently). So, that little bit of Tykerb probably helped to keep things from growing too much.

It was my little experiment to see if I could go off the meds. My dad called it "Russian Roulette". I found out that I can't. Things aren't really bad. It could be worse. So, I go back on the two meds and see how things go in three months with a new CT scan and I will also have my tumor markers monitored monthly. I probably won't take that chance again. I've got my son to raise, a life to build with Scott, my house to finish, and the Center for Indigenous Sciences to work on!

I was a little depressed yesterday - both from the tumor marker news and from some other things going on - and one of my friends told me that rather than fighting the depression and the envy, I needed to embrace those emotions since they are part of me - my shadow self. By embracing them, they lose their power. She also told me that I should love my cancer to death - not to my death but to the cancer's death. I need to laugh it to death. That requires a reorientation of my thinking but doable, I believe.

In other news, Scott's wallet was taken today - we think perhaps where he goes to massage school as the charges on his debit came from that same neighborhood. They stole about $200 before he discovered it. The bank will give him his money back - insurance covers that - but it might take a couple of days.

My acupuncturist told me that my challenge will be to retreat - start saying no - and make sure to balance all of my do-er/yang energy with yin/relaxing energy. My parent has been telling me to slow down. Scott wanted us to "chill" this week-end. I guess I best do that, huh? : )

So, not great news. Got a plan, though.

Take care, people! Love ya! Thank you all for your support!


jmoore4you said...

I am sorry the results were not better but at least you know sooner than later so you can be proactive now. I have not been on Tykerb for about 2 months now so that I can get my chest wall to heal but perhaps I will order more tomorrow and get back on the darn stuff. I take three and I believe that 5 are full dose. Is that right? Do you get a lot of side effects? I just feel off when I take my dose but it is not too obnoxious. I just feel better without it... Here's hoping that you feel well while taking the drugs.

Joanna Moore

Carver said...

Dee I'm sorry the news wasn't better but glad you have a plan. My good thoughts are as ever going out for you.

Daria said...

Sorry about the news ... hopefully the drugs will get them back down ASAP.

Take care of yourself.

Dee said...

Hi Joanna,
Yes, 5 is the full dose. I just feel a little off, too, when I take it and it's hard to tell how much it might affect my sleep. It's not too obnoxious. Xeloda is, however.

Hi Carver,
I appreciate your support, as you know.

Hi Daria,
Yes, I will try to take care of myself. I have a bit of work to do at the moment, but my plan is to rest tonight - watch a movie, color some mandalas, etc.

Thank you all for your support! Hope you all are having a great day!