Tuesday, April 14, 2009

CT Scan News - A New Excuse to Say No at Work!

Dr. K finally called me late this evening. No news was not good news. It just wasn't urgent news.

Apparently, I have three little spots on my left lung. The spots on my bones are still there - they aren't bigger and also there was the same amount of spots. The little spots on my lungs are 1cm and two 4mm spots.

Crap. This means I start taking Tykerb again. We will do another CT scan in three months, if the spots have grown then we bring Xeloda back into the mix.

F&*K. I was not expecting that news.

Dr. K did say that while we haven't stopped the disease, we have slowed it down quite a bit. He really didn't expect me to be doing as well as I am. He told me that I look healthy. I am mentally healthy. He also said that I should continue living my life as I have, making plans to serve on Arctic research committees if I want to, traveling, etc.

There is a chance that these spots were caused by some infection - that they are scars. He said that sometimes, after pneumonia or bronchitis, spots like these show up on CT scans. However, my last CT scan 8 months ago did not show these spots. He double-checked. So, we suspect cancer.

This is when you start second-guessing all of your decisions - like going off of Xeloda in December and trying this little experiment to not take Tykerb. But like I told Scott just now, I can't sit around regretting those decisions. I made the best one I could make - I made the one that was right for me. Dr. K sorta expects that the next CT scan will show these three spots with no changes. They could be that way for years.

So, I start Tykerb again tomorrow. I will also contact Brodie and see if Chinese Medicine might have something to add to the mix.

I don't want to teach tomorrow. I sorta feel like crawling into a hole. It's gonna be hard to act like everything's normal when it isn't.

Update (10 minutes later!) - I just added the subtitle "A New Excuse to Say No at Work" - I'm trying to regain my sense of humor and equilibrium. Bear with me, please!

Well, shit anyway.

6 comments:

Carver said...

Well shit, I'll say it too. I was so hoping you'd get great news but I'm glad you're saying no to work today and not second guessing decisions. I'm glad the lung issues are so small. I'm sending out good vibes that whatever you decide treatment wise will zap them right out. Take good care of yourself, Carver

Cat, Jeremiah, Finn and baby limpet said...

Shit is right...but you are so smart to work on not regretting your decisions. Regret won't change anything and it won't make you feel any better...you made the right decisions for yourself at the time with the information you had. You're a smart woman who makes informed decisions...no reason for regret. Take care, enjoy the spring flowers.
Cat

Dee said...

Hi Carver and Cat, Goo, Finn and "limpet",
Let's all say it together, "well, shit!" LOL

I talked to my acupuncturist today and she's starting me on a set of herbs that I took before that help with lung issues. She also reminded me of a qi gong move/walk that helps support the lungs. So . . . I hope that helps and between that and the Tykerb, I plan on the next CT scan not showing anything new or anything bigger on the left lung or the bones.

A big thank you to all of you. I do appreciate your support!
Dee

jmoore4you said...

I know that your regime will be really successful. When I was first diagnosed, a small lung spot showed up and now it is gone. I am thinking your spots are going away...poof, gone...

We chatted before and were discussing the side effects. I take Tykerb and Herceptin and while I don't love Tykerb, it is probably worth taking. (My oncologist says that it prevents brain mets among other things.) Our insurance won't cover Tykerb since I don't take Xeloda so we have to pay for it our of pocket. I presume that your insurance has covered you for this drug. Anyway, I am hoping that you get lots of needed rest. Know that the lungs are going to be back to clear very soon.

Dee said...

Hi jmoore4you,
Thank you for sharing your story and proving that lung mets can go away - poof! I needed to know that!

I do remember you commenting before - I think you told me about something that'll help with acne.

I was going to read up on your blog, but I can't get access .. . so I hope you're doing okay.
Take care,
Dee

MisAnthropology said...

We're with you. Bearing away. Just remember that the humor has probably been at least as potent a healing elixir as the drugs. You can second guess yourself if you ever decide to go off of that.