On the Mend, I think

Yesterday, I was reminded again of the importance of engaging with the outside world. If I stay home, my thoughts become morbid, or I feel more pain in my arm, or whatever.

We (my parents and I) took my son to a local festival. At first, I wasn't sure how long I could stay because of nausea or fatigue or feeling too hot, especially because of this compression sleeve. I found myself thinking several times, "These people do not know how lucky they are - to be able to walk around without a care in the world." I thought other things, too, but won't repeat them here.

I was also reminded how much my mood depends on how I feel, especially with regard to nausea. I really can't handle the nausea. I find it so hard to be positive with I feel like crap. But if I feel halfway human, I feel much more positive.

Anyway, I didn't take the antibiotic yesterday. Right before we went to the festival, I drank some ginger tea. And, I did okay. I ate some yakisoba noodles - as a snack and then decided to have it for dinner.  As the afternoon continued, I felt better. In the evening, after dinner, a friend from high school stopped by for a visit. And, again, it was really good for me. It buoyed my spirits.

Today, I feel better yet, that is, if I wasn't so tired. I just laid down in bed for about half an hour, probably napped about 15 min or so, and I feel okay.

My stomach is still cramping. But the only western meds I am taking is the anti-seizure medication and Imodium for diarrhea. I am taking Chinese herbs for nausea, plus ginger tea. Mentos, for some reason, also seem to help (of course, peppermint). I am trying to keep it really simple so that my body can continue to detoxify. I don't know yet when I will begin taking Tykerb again. I think I need to let my digestive tract heal more.  I think I end up having a lot of the antibiotic side effects (I am taking Keflex). They include gastritis, diarrhea, nausea, agitation, etc. I certainly had the agitation. My stomach cramps any time I eat.

I see both the radiation oncologist and my surgeon on Wednesday and will report my symptoms. I don't think there's much to do besides heal. I do think that I won't do WBR for awhile. For the next few weeks of  summer, I just want to have fun.

So, I feel better. I do better when I do get out and about, but I have to be careful not to overdo it.

Oh, I forgot - I did get short-term disability. I got approved on Thursday and received the check Saturday. It was about $1000 less than I thought I would get but that is because of the one week waiting period. But I am okay financially. We'll get through that, too.

I plan to continue healing until we go to the coast in 12 days. When my stomach and digestive symptoms improve, then I will begin taking Tykerb again. I am supposed to have Herceptin/Zometa this Friday and I plan to do it. Let's hope the digestive symptoms heal more by then.

In the meantime, I appreciate your continued prayers and thoughts and blessings. They do keep me from going completely into a deep, dark place.