Thursday, February 14, 2008

Anxiety again

The pharmacy in Portland called me this afternoon and told me that insurance agreed to cover the drugs, Xeloda and Tykerb. The good news is that it's only going to be $15/month for each one. I read from Jeanne Sather's blog that Tykerb costs $23/pill; you take 5 pills per day, for a total of over $3,000/month. So, it's a bargain for me, comparatively speaking. Then, insurance called me to say that they needed prior authorization from me to talk to the pharmacy? Or something like that? Anyway, insurance said that the pharmacy agreed to reduce the cost of Tykerb. Forgive my cynicism, but when each of them are saying positive things about the other - the pharmacy agreeing to take a cut and then insurance only insisting on a $15/month fee? I'm suspicious, but in the meantime, I can enjoy a relatively inexpensive treatment.

But that does mean I'm starting to get anxious because I really don't know how my body's going to react to these drugs. Most women tolerate it and the side effects are relatively easy to live with. Each person reacts to the chemo differently. Another thing to consider is that, before, someone else administered the drugs via IV, I just had to show up. This time, I'm giving them to myself.

Another difference is that before, the cancer was hidden from my view; now I can see it on what's left of my right breast. I guess I'll be able to take pleasure in the fact that it disappears once I start taking the drugs.

I'm bushed. It's been an emotional couple of weeks and I'm feeling it in my shoulders, my neck, and my lower back. Where's a good masseuse when you need one? : )


Heather said...

Kevin and I just toasted to "TO HELL WITH CANCER" in your honor. We want to have dinner with you (and/or you, Scott, Eddie, Ashley... whomever else) maybe this weekend if you have time! Whadda ya say?

Dee said...

Hi Heather,
Hey, dinner sounds great! My day is still a bit up in the air . . . I've got Eddie this week-end and I may take him to my sister's and Scott might be down for awhile (just for the day), but I don't know when. Eddie will be at his dad's around 5pm on Sunday . . . so how 'bout I call you in a few hours and we can try to figure out when would be a good time! I heard you and Kevin went to Hawaii . . . and thanks for the toast! Today is my attitude-adjustment day. Switching from anxiety/fear of the meds to let's kick cancer's ass! Are you with me?