Damn flu!

So, Monday, after I picked up Eddie from school, I got the chills that didn't go away for about 30 minutes - by the time I got home, my fingers were tingly and numb and I was shivering uncontrollably! After making tea and trying to warm my hands above the burner, I checked my temperature - it was 100.8! All day, I'd felt fine and I didn't start going downhill until about 4:30pm. It was weird how quickly the symptoms came on. I also had achey muscles, headache, sore throat and an earache. Sigh!

Since then, I've been managing the fever and I woke up yesterday with the glands in my throat swollen, making it hard to swallow. It's still that way although I think the throat is less swollen today, but it still hurts. The aches have gone away, although I still have a slight earache and the sore throat. I had the sore throat checked for strep yesterday evening and it was negative, so it is the "damn flu!".

I caught it from Scott, who came down with flu symptoms two weeks ago today. When I finally spent some time with him, he hadn't had active flu symptoms for several days, so I thought it was safe. I guess not! I'm hoping that I'm over this flu for a few days before starting Herceptin. If not, I might have to delay it for another few days.

Anyway, have a good Wednesday!
Dee

Goodbye Christmas Tree and Next Steps

Hi all,
I spent all yesterday evening taking down the ornaments from my Christmas tree and putting away all of the rest of the Christmas decorations. It's kinda sad, but now the surfaces and walls have a cleaner, leaner look. It's fun to have all of that stuff out but it does create more clutter. (Or maybe that means I need to reduce the other clutter that's around!) But that also meant that the closet I keep all that stuff in needed to be reorganized. For some reason, post-Christmas becomes the time to straighten out that closet. The rest of the year, I grab stuff out of there and then throw it back in, with no regard to how it's organized. So, I also cleaned and reorganized that closet. But now I look around the house and realize that there's a couple of other spaces that have kinda suffered from neglect post-surgery - one room has all my breast cancer books and stuff on a table. My work file piles (I have about 5 or 6 piles of file folders and books related to different articles or research that I want to work on) have all gotten disorganized and I need to file away receipts and statements and then put all the new Christmas card pictures onto my bulletin board - I post pictures with kids on them. I also moved furniture around in my bedroom last spring, but never got around to rearranging the pictures on my walls; these pictures are all now off-kilter and not centered so I want to fix that. House work is never ending, huh?

I talked to my oncologist a few days ago and then with the Ambulatory Infusion department. I have my baseline MUGA scan on the heart on Jan 16 and then I start Herceptin on the 18th. We are assuming that the MUGA scan will be normal but because Adriamycin can cause heart damage, we're just making sure. This also gives us what my heart normally looks like so that hopefully, we can detect any damage that Herceptin can potentially cause down the road. I'm waiting for Ambulatory Infusion to get the orders from Dr. Kenyon on chemically inducing menopause for a few months, so that's not scheduled yet. In the meantime, I meet with Linda Gelbrecht at Heartspring Wellness Center on Monday in order to start working on meditation and other visualization techniques. In particular, I want to do visualization about the Herceptin and begin thinking of it as a cleansing substance so I don't approach these injections with anxiety or fear. I want to do this to hopefully reduce any side effects I might have. I'm also meeting with Brodie Welch on Jan 17 - Brodie practices traditional Chinese medicine and I think I read that she specializes in women's medical issues. This might mean that I get acupuncture, too, or maybe take some Chinese medicinal herbs to help me through the treatments.

My son starts school on Monday and I have my next "pump up" session on Monday morning. A woman at the support group a few weeks ago called her tissue expanders "breasts of steel" because the tissue and the expanders were so taut and hard. I know what she meant! I've got these little boobs growing now, but they are kinda hard to the touch! I think that means that even as they get bigger, I may still not need a bra because they won't be saggy! Also, my little lumps are lopsided - the left side is definitely bigger than the right and that's because of the prior radiation to the right side which has decreased that tissue's elasticity. My plastic surgeon said not to worry - in the end, he'll make sure everything matches. So, don't be surprised if you see me if one side seems bigger because it is!

Take care, everyone, and have a good week-end!
Dee

Onions and Christmas Trees

Hi everyone,
Here's another picture from the "boob food" contest. Amazingly, it looks almost exactly like the entry that won first prize, but unfortunately, they've fallen or sagged. The boob cake was made by Amy Searles, who was ill and couldn't come to the party, but her husband, Josh, brought it. Apparently, he said, it was too warm in the car because all the icing and the other "toppings" melted and slipped, which for us older women is generally the sad state affairs for your breasts - saggy boobs! And, to commemorate the poor things, here's a joke that my cousin, Theresa Muktoyuk, sent right before my surgery. The joke seems to fit the photo!

ONIONS AND CHRISTMAS TREES

A family is at the dinner table.The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her
30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After
50, they are like onions".
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree".
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration!"

HA!

I got a good laugh out of that one!

In the meantime, no new news on the treatment front, other than I seem to be healing nicely. I am actually 1) sleeping on my side now! 2) able to lift my arms above my head so that I can put on pullover shirts and turtlenecks, the latter is especially nice since it's been around freezing here in the Willamette Valley; 3) able to reach for things; and 4) hug my son (and my boyfriend) and allow my son's head to rest on my shoulder while I have my arm around him. I hadn't let my son do that when things still felt tender and because of the numbness around my chest area. I have this six-inch band of numbness that starts from about 3-4 inches below my neck to just under where my old breasts used to be, and this band extends from underneath one arm all the way around to the other arm, except for a bit of sensation right around my breast bone in the center of my chest. It's strange - I can feel pressure deeper in that area, but no sensation at all on the skin. I was a bit leery at first because I wasn't sure I could tell whether or not my son would be applying too much pressure or not (and thereby causing an injury I wouldn't be aware of because I can't feel), but I think I've figured out. Or maybe because I have nearly normal range of movement, I feel that I'm just about healed so now feel that I can hug without worrying. Boy! The issues one worries about that you never think you'd have to think about!

Next week, I will have an appointment with Dr. Kenyon and then prior to starting Herceptin, I want to have my heart function evaluated . . . so it doesn't look like I will start until mid-January. I guess he and I will also talk about chemically inducing menopause for a few months as I think I will try to have my ovaries removed when I have the permanent implants inserted. This way, I have both procedures at the same time and thereby limit my time in surgery. My plastic surgeon was okay with that scenario, so now I just need to check with my ob/gyn.

In the meantime, I want to do a couple of things around the house and tomorrow, I will be meeting with Scott's friend, Greg Hyatt, to talk about web designing; Greg wants to help develop interactive, educational web sites about endangered animals and the environment and with my interest in climate change issues in the north, it seems a good fit. I already have some information that I'd like to put into an interactive web site for the King Island community, so we'll see. It'll be fun to sit around a brainstorm for a bit tomorrow!

Take care all and Happy 2008!
Dee

The Manogram

Hello again,
So, here's 2 cartoons one of our students (Courtney again) found . . . both based on the mammogram. Fun, huh? I'll try to get a joke and another picture or two tomorrow (but don't hold your breath!).

I spent today running some errands - one in particular was to gather all of my son's pictures with Santa and put them into frames. Most of the pictures I had were 5x7 or 8x10 so I asked my brother Scott to scan them so I could print out 4x6's for the picture frames. Boy, there's now 8 pictures of him from 2000 to 2007! It was fun to go back over the older pictures of him as a baby/toddler. This is a project I've been meaning to do for a couple of years now! Whew! Does anyone else have lists of stuff they've been meaning to do but they always get put on the back burner. Sigh . . . I guess that's life.

Happy New Year!
Dee

Some boob humor

Happy New Year!
So, I promised almost two months ago now (sheesh! where has the time gone?) that I would post some of the jokes and photos from my Boob Ball. First, I'll see if I can post a couple of the photos . . .

The first photo was a salmon spread with a candy on top made by friend and colleague Sandy Tsuneyoshi and the next picture shows these little cucumber shells with a crab filling and topped with ?? (can't remember now), made by the boyfriend of Courtney Everson, Dale. The next one is a picture of a boob cake made by one of my friends and colleagues, Alison Davis-Whiteeyes. This entry won first prize in the "boob food" category at my Boob Ball, as voted on by the other folks at my party. All of them were edible and the cucumber/crab one was delicious! There's a couple more I'll post, too.

Anyway, tomorrow, I will work on uploading some of the cartoons - just tried, but something went haywire. And, if I have some of the jokes on file here, I will post them, too.
Take care and Happy New Year!
Dee

Happy Holidays!

Hi everyone,
I haven't posted in about a week and I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm doing okay and in good spirits, especially now that I've made a decision about treatment. I talked to Dr. Kenyon the other day and we more or less decided that I would start Herceptin soon after January 7, 2008. I'll have a year of injections, given every three weeks. At some point, when I get my permanent implants, I'll have my ovaries removed and until then, I may be given a monthly injection to stop my ovarian function temporarily.

I've spent this week in Christmas preparations - my mom, my sister and her kids, and Eddie and I made 8 1/2 dozen cookies on Sunday, I finished my shopping on Monday, and then Wednesday, I spent all day wrapping presents while watching Heroes on DVD (I bought the first season for Scott and I to watch). On Tuesday, I went up to Portland and met with my colleagues, Tom Thornton and Arthur Mason, to talk about a project in which we study the affects of ANCSA (the Alaska Native Claims Settlement Act) on Alaska Native cultures and their political force in the state of Alaska. Tom and I had submitted a proposal last year to NSF that was funded - Arthur is interested in it so we had a conversation about how he might be involved also. It was a good conversation, which was augmented by the fact that it took place in Powell's, surrounded by books!

Anyway, have a great holiday! I wish you all the best and thank you so much for reading the blog and sending me your support. I do appreciate and am looking forward to a good holiday!
Love, Dee

Pump Up the Jam & A Second Opinion

Hello everyone,
On Monday, I had my first expansion appointment. It was interesting - Dr. Havard first injected some lidocaine and then injected 50 cc's of saline into the temporary tissue expanders. For those of you who don't know, these "tissue expanders" were placed under my pec muscles, but high on my chest, maybe only a couple of inches below my collar bone. They were not placed in the normal area for breasts because that area is still healing after the mastectomy and they didn't want the scar tissue to adhere to these tissue expanders. Then, when it's time to insert the permanent implants, they will "release the muscle" and the new implants will be in the normal place. I also found out that it takes about 450 cc's to get up to a "B" cup - that's nine injections! And, because Havard has a couple of vacations planned in December and January, that means that my expansion appointments will go into at least March. By then, the nurse said that it'll probably look like I have a chin rest!

I had my appointment with Dr. Luoh at OHSU yesterday. And, ironically, while he still really stressed that I should have chemo, what he had to say made me even more sure of my decision NOT to do chemo. First, he feels that this cancer is actually a new cancer and this is a good thing - apparently, the prognosis for "new" cancer is better than a recurrence of an old one. He said that if it was a recurrence, there's a greater chance for a "distant relapse" or metastasis to another part of my body. The chance is less for a new cancer. I also asked him what he thought my chance for a distant relapse was. He estimated 50% (whereas Kenyon thought it was 80%). Herceptin cuts that down to about 25%, ovary removal plus aromatase inhibitors puts it down to about 15% and chemo only gives me about another 5-7%. One of my colleagues, Melissa Cheyney, pointed out that a normal woman on the street has a 12.5% chance of developing breast cancer in her lifetime. Which basically means that by doing Herceptin and the ovary removal/aromatase inhibitors, I'm near the "normal" category, without chemo! So, in terms of quality of life, both short- and long-term, I will refuse chemo. The risks outweigh the benefits. Dr. Luoh kept stressing that he felt it was an early stage breast cancer and he usually wants to treat such cancers very aggressively, and especially since I'm young and relatively healthy, he thought I could handle the side effects. But having gone through those side effects before (while the nausea won't be as bad, I would suffer from new side effects like neuropathy - I'd lose some feeling in my fingers, hands, and feet), I have no desire to repeat them. And, as I said before, I think I am still dealing with fatigue from the first time around - why would I want to add to it?

Well, I'm going to sign off. I had a busy day yesterday - not only was I in Portland all day, but yesterday evening, my department chair hosted a celebratory dinner for one of my colleagues, which was fun, but I didn't get home 'til almost 10pm, which is about an hour later than I usually get to bed! I'm tired - yawning as I type! Take care and thank you again to everyone who brought meals!
Love,
Dee