Back Home Safely

Hello everyone!
A quick note to say that I arrived safely home in Portland late on Sunday night. After about six hours sleep, I was on my way to Corvallis and picked my son up from school, then off to work to get ready to teach.

The day went fairly well, although I really started to fade from jet lag about 3pm. Then, I still had to come home, do laundry, go grocery shopping, unpack, then my lovely cat decided to be mad at me and left a couple of surprises that I had to clean up. Namely, she decided to pee and poop on the floor in the bathroom and in the sink. I mopped the bathroom floor THREE times until I think I finally got rid of the cat urine smell, using a variety of cleaning products, and then after a thorough cleaning of the sink, I used bleach. NOT what I wanted to be doing last night when I was tired. Eddie also had some homework that I had to help him with.

I think the smell is gone. Truth will tell upon our arrival home this afternoon.

But it's sunny, my rhodies are blooming, my irises and red hot pokers are blooming, I can see buds on my roses and one of them has blooms, and this ground cover that had struggled all the time I've lived here looks nice and healthy and full of blue blooms. Another small ground cover in the bed near the driveway has definitely spread over a larger area and is full of a delicate light blue bloom. So, yes, it's pretty here and it's hard to stay mad at the cat, especially after a great night of sleep (I woke up three times, but managed to get back to sleep).

Happy Tuesday!

Cat News . . . and a Phone Call From My Oncologist

I took my cat, Elizabeth, to an orthopedic surgeon vet, today. He couldn't see a tear in the muscle on the x-rays and he felt her leg and definitely found the area that hurts her - it was still swollen. It wasn't the achilles, but another muscle that corresponds to the area of our calf muscle - forgot the name, it was "gastro" something or other. He said that he'd never seen an injury like this before, but it was his opinion that we should wait and see if the injury heals itself. If it isn't better in a couple of weeks, then we might talk about surgery. He based part of his opinion on the fact that she does appear to be better. She's not dragging her foot (the foot would actually bend so that the top of the foot was dragging on the ground) like she was and she is now able to gingerly put some weight on it. I just saw her hop on top of the chair - technically, I'm supposed to keep her from jumping so that she doesn't reinjure that muscle. But I couldn't get to her in time. So, it does seem to be resolving itself and she really wants to go outside.

Whew. It saves me some money.

In other news, after dinner, I got a phone call from Dr. K, my oncologist. He said that he's been getting updates from Dr. H, my plastic surgeon, about my upcoming surgery. Dr. K just wanted to go on record as saying that he thinks it's a bad idea and that it might take a few months for the tissue to heal (since it's been irradiated) and that it'd be better to leave well enough alone. However, as Dr. K said, he is not a surgeon. My understanding from Dr. H is that this kind of reconstruction is actually going to be a good thing because he's bringing in good tissue with its own blood supply - and it's also tissue that's never been radiated - and so I don't think that the wound would take as long to heal.

So, now Dr. K has me questioning the whole thing to some extent. I will proceed with the surgery but will make sure that I broach the whole topic with Dr. H first to make sure my understanding is correct. I asked Dr. K if his concern was with whether or not I'd have a relapse and he said that it wasn't. He was more concerned about having a wound that would take months to heal, especially since I've been dealing with an open skin wound for 9 months already. Granted, it has been almost five months since the tissue expander came out and it's not quite healed yet ... in the end, I don't really think that any one really knows what will happen. My case is somewhat unique. Honestly, I'm more concerned with the potential of a relapse - I know I can deal with an open wound. But it wouldn't be an open wound - it'd have sutures. Sigh . . .

It's always something.

The Tree Is by the Curb

Scott and I took the decorations off the tree last night and then this morning, he took the tree outside.

We were both a little sad to see it go. It was a good tree. I think I got some pictures and will have to post them when I remember. We had to take it down,though, because Eddie and I head up to Portland on Wednesday afternoon, and I have a busy couple of days before then.

I just spent the morning putting away the decorations, except for the stockings and the tablecloth, which I will get after we get back from Vegas.

I'm going to try to work on one of the syllabi for my winter term classes today, then my family is having a belated Christmas Day dinner (my sis had to work that night, so rather than try to fit everything in, we waited) later this afternoon.

Tomorrow, I take Elizabeth to see an orthopedic surgeon in Springfield in the morning, meet another job candidate in the afternoon and then hear his talk. On Tuesday, we will discuss the candidates in the morning, then I have my zoladex and zometa appointment, then the appraiser is going to stop by to continue the work for the refinance.

Wednesday morning or Tuesday night, I need to pack. I also need to pay bills, and finish the other syllabi.

Whew. I'm glad I'm getting over my cold - still a bit of nose congestion and a bit of a cough, but I almost don't notice it.

Does someone want to do my work for me? LOL

Gimpy Elizabeth

Yesterday, the roads north to Clackamas were really bad, so rather than chance a really long drive (it took Scott three hours to come home, partly because he spent 40 minutes behind snow plows), I canceled the appointment for her surgery. The vet surgery center gave me a couple more numbers and I found another orthopedic vet surgeon in Springfield - a little bit closer than Clackamas - and it's in the south Willamette Valley which has had very little snow. We seem to be in a bit of a banana belt here. Anyway, she has an appointment in Springfield on Monday and if he decides on surgery, it'd be Tuesday. That's cutting it a bit close in terms of my vacation . . .

In the meantime, she is wandering around the house. She really wants to go outside but I don't want to let her outside for now. She doesn't seem to want to use her kitty litter box. But she is eating and drinking water. She is on pain meds and one of them had an anti-inflammatory, so I presume that that is what's helping her get around. She still wants to hop up on top of things.

The poor thing. She has been wanting more petting, though, and who can blame her?

Merry Christmas everyone!

I Can't Put Her Down

After a busy afternoon, my son and I picked up my niece and nephew so that they could come over and spend the night with my son. I took them out to dinner at a restaurant called Pastini's, which just opened. They're a local chain that operates in Portland - really good pasta. Afterwards, we came to my house and pulled into the garage. And, there was poor Elizabeth, our cat that we've had for 18 months, limping toward the kitchen door dragging her right hind leg. Her paw was hanging limply as if broken.

Luckily, my folks came right over to watch the kids while I took her to the vet. After an hour and x-rays, the diagnosis was a torn achilles tendon. She didn't have any signs that she'd been in a fight or hit by a car, so as near as the vet could tell, she apparently tried to jump up or off of something and got caught, tore her achilles and apparently hit her head or jaw hard enough to break off part of her tooth. One of her claws was torn off.

Treatment choices are 1) amputate her leg; 2) surgery; or 3) euthanize her. (Actually, the vet didn't give me the third choice, but I gathered that that is always an option.) I chose surgery. I'm hoping OSU's vet surgery is open tomorrow, otherwise, I need to drive her up to Clackamas to take her to a vet orthopedic surgeon. I have an appointment at Clackamas at 12 in case I need it.

The cost? $2500.

Criminy. I do have pet insurance which will cover up to $1000. That means $1500 out of pocket.

Can't really afford it. But I also cannot bear the thought of putting her down. While waiting for them to bring Elizabeth back into the room, I thought about the option of putting her to sleep and started to cry. I just can't do it.

The thought occurred to me that this could be me . . . what if insurance or my doctors decided to go the cheaper route of either euthanizing or amputating an appendage? My own battle with cancer can be characterized as doing whatever it takes to maintain a relatively high quality of life. How can I not do the same for this animal that trusts me and who has given me comfort? I have to do what I can to give her a good quality of life.

She is also Eddie's first pet. He's bonded with her and I couldn't bear the thought of taking her away from him.

I know that many people out there believe that animals are just animals, below humans. But in the Inupiaq belief system, animals have spirits, too, and even more, they also have intelligence and free will. Animals are people with a different skin.

Maybe a year ago, maybe less, Scott said that he had a dream while staying at my house in which he saw a cat come out of my bedroom closet and make its way to my bed. Either the week before or the week after, as I was going to sleep, I felt a cat jump onto my bed, but I knew that I'd let Elizabeth out, so she wasn't in my room. My conclusion was that Ptery (short for Pteradactyl - when she was a kitten, she jumped on my shoulders like a bird roosting there - tried a bunch of bird name, but didn't like them) had come to visit. Ptery died in Dec 2006. I got her initially in 1989 and she was my cat for a few years, until I moved to DC to do some work. Then, my brothers and then my folks inherited her. Ptery became their cat. But she still remembered me. It reminded me of one of Richard Bach's books, I think the one called "A Bridge Across Forever" in which he and his then-wife, Leslie, were trying to learn how to have their spirits travel outside of their body while they slept. When they finally remembered doing so, Leslie said that she saw the ghost or spirit of a cat she had owned still hanging out with her.

So, I can't put her to sleep. The good news is that I refinanced the house, with cash out, a little over a week ago - my interest rate is a full percentage point lower than my current mortgage and I also save almost $300 a month in mortgage payments. So, I guess some of my cash will go to the surgery instead of doing something in the house. The house can wait.

Okay, road gods, please be clear if I have to go to Clackamas! The roads north of here have been really really bad . . . but hopefully they clear up.

It's always something, huh?

Eww!! The Cat Just Puked!

As I finished up that last post, I heard the cat in the hallway doing that hacking sound associated with throwing up. I hurried over and picked her up - she was on the carpet - and moved her to the floor. She still got some puke on the carpet and a bit on the wall and on the floor! Yuck! Cleaned and deodorized already. Man, it stunk, too. Gack!

Thank god she didn't do it last night. I would've fallen apart. Silver lining, huh?