Dee's Boob Tunes Playlists

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I created some CD's that my surgeon said he'd play while I was undergoing surgery. Here are the lists and, if I have a reason for it, the reason why I chose that particular song. I listed to the first one today as I walked to work . . . I've been in a good mood all day! I think that bodes well for surgery, right?

Dee's Boob Tunes #1
1. My Xeloda by Heather Kenagy - Heather composed this song just for me and it describes the side effects I had from Xeloda, a chemo drug.
2. Pump Up the Jam by Technotronic - I thought of this song last year when my surgeon started "pumping up" the tissue expanders.
3. Life is a Highway by Tom Cochrane - My son really liked this song a year or so ago. We listened to it alot. I like the message - Life is a highway, I want to ride it all night long.
4. Soak up the Sun by Sheryl Crow - Among other things, she says she's going to soak up the sun while it's still free and also, "It's not getting what you want, but wanting what you've got", a good message, I think.
5. Why Don't You and I by Santana and Santa - I really like the music on this one and then it's about two people taking on the world, going to the moon, and also "heads we will and tails we try again", which to me means that even if you get tails, you try again until you get heads - no giving up, in other words.
6. Freewill by Rush - I like the idea that you have a choice and freewill, that our lives are not preordained.
7. Against All Odds by Phil Collins - self-explanatory, eh?
8. Kaaka-gguq Cauyalriitqa by Pamyua - Pamyua is a Yup'ik Eskimo music group who use Yup'ik lyrics, both in acapella and also using various R&B or jazz-like arrangements. This one is acapella.
9. Far Away by Nickelback - Okay, the reasoning for this is kinda mushy. I started listening to Nickelback around the time that I met Scott, my partner. This song says, "I have loved you all along". It's how I felt about Scott - that I'd always known him and loved him. We just clicked, ya know?
10. Beat It! by Michael Jackson - again, self-explanatory. Beat Cancer.
11. Trees by Marty Casey and Lovehammer - My friend, Josh, told me about this song and I found out that I really liked it. About two people in the trees, dreaming and going through life together.
12. This Love by Maroon 5 - What can I say? I just like it.
13. Here I Am by Lyle Lovett - Just a good, fun song. You think it's about two people in love (and I guess it can be), but then at the end, it's about you and a cheeseburger!
14. Express Yourself by Madonna - about not settling for second best.
15. You and Me by Lifehouse - okay, go ahead and say it. I'm a hopeless romantic!
16. Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves - yes, it gets monotonous. But just try not to dance or have a bounce to your step when you listen to it.
17. Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin' by Journey - My friends and I saw Journey and Def Leppard in concert a couple of years ago. Lots of fun. I've always like the song.
18. Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer - Hmm. Maybe we have a chance now with our new President.
19. Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard - see #17. Great great song.

Dee's Boob Tunes #2
1. Thank you by Alanis Morisette - Always a good thing to say Thank You.
2. No One by Alicia Keys - My sister heard this song last fall and told me that she thought of me when she heard it. It wasn't so much the love song, but the words "everything's going to be all right. Things will get better".
3. Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me by George Michael and Elton John - self-explanatory - don't give up on me.
4. Drops of Jupiter by Train - My sister had this song on a mix she made up; once I heard it, I decided to download it and it became a favorite. Then, I found out that Scott really liked it, too. To me, it's about saying the sky's the limit - go and find yourself.
5. All My Relations by Ulali - I love this group; they are an all-woman Native American group that usually harmonize together on their songs. They are very very powerful. This particular song has voiceovers by the singers about remembering our histories and the tragedies and remembering those who will come after and those who tried to keep their traditions intact. A great message.
6. We are the World (USA for Africa) - this song still brings up emotion for me - our family listened to it on youtube over Christmas.
7. Brown-Eyed Girl by Van Morrison - 'cuz I'm a brown-eyed girl myself.
8. Walkin' on the Sun by Smash Mouth - I just like it . . .
9. I Needed to Fall by REO Speedwagon - My sister and I, our kids, and one of my guests and her son saw REO Speedwagon at the Lane County Fairgrounds in August 2008 - a summer concert. I liked them in the 1980s and it was kinda fun to see them again. For me, it means that maybe you need to fall to come back stronger.
10. Love and Memories by O.A.R. - just like the song
11. No More Tears by Ozzy Osbourne - Surprised?
12. Lonely No More by Rob Thomas - I like Rob Thomas's voice and I don't feel lonely anymore - not like I did last May . . .
13. Cauyaqa Nauma by Pamyua - another song of the Yup'ik dance group that I really like. Part of the lyrics are, "My drum, my people, my song makes me whole"
14. Word Up! by Korn - wave your hands in the air like you just don't care - a good thing to practice, I think. Dance and don't care what others think about it.
15. The Trouble with Love Is by Kelly Clarkson - yep, that hopeless romantic. One of my favorite all time movies is "Love Actually" and this song is on the soundtrack.
16. Faithfully by Journey - see #17 in the previous list
17. Crimson and Clover by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - a good classic song
18. Hold My Hand by Hootie and the Blowfish - I've always liked Hootie's voice and this is a hopeful kind of tune.

Dee's Boob Tunes #3
1. Pink Houses by John Cougar Mellencamp - a classic
2. Blackbird by Sarah McLachlan - take these broken wings and learn to fly
3. Good Love is on the Way by John Mayer - the hopeless romantic in me
4. Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns 'N Roses - I just really like it
5. Mean Mad Mama by Carver Sapp - Carver is another cancer blogger and she sent me her song . . . it's about being angry at the greed of this world
6. New Sensation by INXS - Had to include it - I'm getting new boobs - a new sensation!
7. You're Beautiful by James Blunt - not that I think I'm beautiful, but I do like the song.
8. Centerfold by J. Geils Band - again, I'm not a centerfold by any means, but the song came out when I was in high school and I remember my fellow students performing it - a fun song.
9. Miss You Much by Janet Jackson - I just like the song
10. Spiders and Snakes by Jim Stafford - remember that one? I remember my dad singing this one a lot and I hadn't heard it in years until a couple of months ago when it was on the radio. I just started cracking up.
11. The Heart of Rock and Roll by Huey Lewis and the News - again, a fun song. I remember that the Portland area stations used the song that was recorded when they played in Portland in which they yell "Portland" in it after naming some of the other cities like New York, etc.
12. Waiting for a Girl Like You by Foreigner - the hopeless romantic
13. 100 Years by Five for Fighting - yeah, a more serious one about the passing of time and to appreciate the time you have
14. Don't Stop by Fleetwood Mac - another classic
15. Change the World by Eric Clapton - hey, we should all change the world, huh?
16. Free Your Mind by En Vogue - a song about not adhering to stereotypes and to be yourself
17. Ants Marching by Dave Matthews - The music is catchy, I think. I like Dave Matthews's voice and it seems to be talking about the impersonality of modern life. Maybe a cautionary tale wrapped up in bouncy kind of music.

That's what I'll be listening to on Friday!

Prepping for New Boobs

The surgery for my TRAM flap, insertion of an implant, and the oophorectomy (removal of my ovaries) is now 17 days away. But who's counting, eh?

I met with my plastic surgeon yesterday for my pre-op appointment. He showed me graphic pictures of the process, which was a bit daunting, but now I can visualize it better. I am trying to talk to those tissues so that the shock of the incision won't be as bad. My acupuncturist said today that it was good to prepare my wei chi (I think that's spelled right) or the fighting chi for the surgery so that maybe it won't react by fighting but will go along with the process and begin healing. In other words, by visualizing the surgery and preparing my tissues for it, I'm hoping that instead of reacting with fear and anger at the insult, it accepts the surgery as something needed and then does what it needs to do for healing. Does that make sense?

I'm starting to get anxious about the surgery. My acupuncturist asked me if I was worried and I had to say that I wasn't really worried, but more apprehensive about feeling the nausea after the anesthesia and the painkiller narcotics and also about the pain. She gave me tips for the nausea (magnets on pericardium 6 - near the wrists and also ginger tea) and then said that there were some herbal remedies for the pain if I needed them. She also gave me a movement from the Thousand Hands Buddha form that will help calm the anxiety. I will see her about 10 days post-op and she said that she'd do what she could for me at that point.

I also talked with Dr. H (the plastic surgeon) about saying positive things during surgery - his staff read the excerpt from Bernie Siegel's book "Love Medicine and Miracles" about giving instructions to patients while they are under anesthesia and thought it was cool, so I'm hoping they reinforce what the reading said to him. He has agreed to say positive things. I also mentioned it to one of my friends, Lynn, who is a surgical nurse at the hospital. I asked her to tell her coworkers about this. She seemed really interested and wanted to read the excerpt. She says if it makes a difference, maybe it's a practice they can implement during surgeries all the time. I would love it if this is something that would make a difference in peoples' lives!!

I asked Dr. H what music they listened to while they perform surgery and he stated rock/pop. I plan to call his office tomorrow and ask if I can give them some music CD's to use during my surgery. I hope so. I spent some time this evening putting together mixes entitled "New Boob Tunes" and "Dee's Boob Tunes"!! I chose my favorite songs, including some with positive messages and songs that have lots of good, fun energy and also some with a bit of fight in them - a bit of attitude, and a couple Native American/Alaska Native songs. I hope they use them! If any of you have suggestions for songs like that, I'd love to hear them!

I also saw the wound care nurse, L., for the last time. I will miss her. I need to bring or send her a thank you card.

Tomorrow, I will get some blood work done in preparation for the surgery.

Whew. I've got lots to do at work beforehand. I am also trying to remember what my fellow breast cancer survivor told me last week: 1) getting her TRAM flap was absolutely transformative for her (i.e., which means that I should focus on the positive); and 2) that as bad as the pain is at the moment, it will be less the next day. So, I keep thinking that one thing that will be good is that I will no longer have an open skin wound. The other thing is that it will be the first time in 14-15 months when my shirts fit correctly!