Prepping for New Boobs

The surgery for my TRAM flap, insertion of an implant, and the oophorectomy (removal of my ovaries) is now 17 days away. But who's counting, eh?

I met with my plastic surgeon yesterday for my pre-op appointment. He showed me graphic pictures of the process, which was a bit daunting, but now I can visualize it better. I am trying to talk to those tissues so that the shock of the incision won't be as bad. My acupuncturist said today that it was good to prepare my wei chi (I think that's spelled right) or the fighting chi for the surgery so that maybe it won't react by fighting but will go along with the process and begin healing. In other words, by visualizing the surgery and preparing my tissues for it, I'm hoping that instead of reacting with fear and anger at the insult, it accepts the surgery as something needed and then does what it needs to do for healing. Does that make sense?

I'm starting to get anxious about the surgery. My acupuncturist asked me if I was worried and I had to say that I wasn't really worried, but more apprehensive about feeling the nausea after the anesthesia and the painkiller narcotics and also about the pain. She gave me tips for the nausea (magnets on pericardium 6 - near the wrists and also ginger tea) and then said that there were some herbal remedies for the pain if I needed them. She also gave me a movement from the Thousand Hands Buddha form that will help calm the anxiety. I will see her about 10 days post-op and she said that she'd do what she could for me at that point.

I also talked with Dr. H (the plastic surgeon) about saying positive things during surgery - his staff read the excerpt from Bernie Siegel's book "Love Medicine and Miracles" about giving instructions to patients while they are under anesthesia and thought it was cool, so I'm hoping they reinforce what the reading said to him. He has agreed to say positive things. I also mentioned it to one of my friends, Lynn, who is a surgical nurse at the hospital. I asked her to tell her coworkers about this. She seemed really interested and wanted to read the excerpt. She says if it makes a difference, maybe it's a practice they can implement during surgeries all the time. I would love it if this is something that would make a difference in peoples' lives!!

I asked Dr. H what music they listened to while they perform surgery and he stated rock/pop. I plan to call his office tomorrow and ask if I can give them some music CD's to use during my surgery. I hope so. I spent some time this evening putting together mixes entitled "New Boob Tunes" and "Dee's Boob Tunes"!! I chose my favorite songs, including some with positive messages and songs that have lots of good, fun energy and also some with a bit of fight in them - a bit of attitude, and a couple Native American/Alaska Native songs. I hope they use them! If any of you have suggestions for songs like that, I'd love to hear them!

I also saw the wound care nurse, L., for the last time. I will miss her. I need to bring or send her a thank you card.

Tomorrow, I will get some blood work done in preparation for the surgery.

Whew. I've got lots to do at work beforehand. I am also trying to remember what my fellow breast cancer survivor told me last week: 1) getting her TRAM flap was absolutely transformative for her (i.e., which means that I should focus on the positive); and 2) that as bad as the pain is at the moment, it will be less the next day. So, I keep thinking that one thing that will be good is that I will no longer have an open skin wound. The other thing is that it will be the first time in 14-15 months when my shirts fit correctly!

Pity Party's Over - I Hope!

Hi all,
Just wanted you to know that I'm feeling better today, although when I woke up this morning, I wasn't so sure. I still have the sore throat, but it seems to be better. (I said that before, though, so I'm not holding my breath!)

I had an expansion appointment this morning and so far, I don't feel as sore as I did last week. Progress is always good! I told my doctor today that the left side was feeling softer, more like a water bed! He he.

He also released me to go back to normal activities (which I more or less was doing, although cautiously) and, furthermore, he felt that playing volleyball was fine as long as I didn't go all out. Yay! Since my surgery, it seems that my team has forfeited more games than they've played for lack of players. I've been trying to recruit more players as I've lost five since last year - haven't been as successful as I'd hoped, so I'm glad I'll be able to play again - in fact, my first time on the court since surgery is tonight. We'll see how I do!

I also forgot to mention that I also have a MUGA scan scheduled for Wednesday - so I have an appointment scheduled for each day this week.

Workwise, this week, I'm hoping to 1) work on an article related to placename density on King Island; 2) begin throwing together a proposal or two to get more funding for the King Island project; and 3) work on a bibliography related to the Alaska Native Claims Settlement Act. We'll see how much I actually get accomplished!

Happy Monday,
Dee

A New Blog

Hi everyone!
So, blogging is new to me, but since I will need a quick and easy way to keep everyone "abreast" (thank you David McMurray!) of what's going on with me as I undergo my second round of treatments for breast cancer, I decided to create one at the suggestion of one of my friends, Andrew Valls.

Okay, for those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed on October 3, 2007, with a second and different cancer in the right breast. Five years ago, from August 2002 to March 2003, I underwent treatments for a 2.0 cm infiltrating lobular carcinoma. The treatments included a lumpectomy with sentinel node dissection, four treatments of adriamycin and cytoxan, and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation. Since the tumor was estrogen-positive, I started taking tamoxifen in April 2003 and just finished taking it on October 10.

This time around, I have a very small (2-3mm) infiltrating ductal carcinoma. I have decided to go with bilateral mastectomy (which decreases my overal risk of recurrence from 20% to 1-2%) followed by reconstruction. So far, I know that it is estrogen positive as well and since I'm premenopausal and tamoxifen (which tends to work with premenopausal women) did not work, I may have to either surgically or chemically induce menopause by taking out my ovaries or stopping them from working with monthly injections. But that's a decision to make later.

For reconstruction, I will go with implants, although I won't need to decide on saline or silione just yet. Even if I wanted to do a TRAM flap (i.e., use my own tummy tissue and muscle), I only have enough tummy tissue for one breast! So, I'd need an implant anyway. Implants have a shorter surgery time and a shorter recovery time. And, apparently, they will be able to use the nipple from the non-cancerous breast to help reconstruct the nipple on the right side. Ah, the things you don't know.

Two women at the support group last night were kind and generous enough to show me what mastectomy and reconstruction look like -thank you ladies! It's helping to demystify the whole process and what to expect.

We're waiting to see whether or not I need to do chemo. So far, the chest x-ray is normal and I am now waiting for the results of the PET scan.

Overall, I'm doing okay and am planning to have a "Boob Ball" on November 3, in order to say good-bye to the troublesome cancer appendages and also to celebrate life and laughter. My only requirement for guests is that they need to bring a boob joke, which I will put into a notebook that I can enjoy after surgery. Of course, there are times when I feel sad or lonely or tired or stressed out, but my friends and family and colleagues have been great - I just need to make a phone call and I feel a lot better! Scott (my boyfriend) and my family, especially, have been great. When Scott is able, he's here with me and has attended a couple of consultations with doctors. He's also helping me as I work through feelings and consider treatment options. Humor helps tremendously!

So, anyway, save the date! For those of you in town, the "Boob Ball" is November 3, probably around 6 or 7pm. And, remember your boob jokes!! : )
Dee (or Deanna or Dede)