Chest Tumor

In my sleepless night last night, I thought about writing about this chest tumor, too, but got too tired.

I noticed that it seemed bigger over the winter and it seemed to really start growing in February. I am not sure when, but it was about 2cm long. Now, it's about 8cm long x 6cm wide. But I'm counting the curve of the tumor going down to the skin, too, as part of the length and width. If I were to just measure the "top" part (not including the sides where it meets my chest bone), it might only be 6-7cm long x 5cm wide. It sticks up about a 1cm, in other words, and that centimeter enters into the measurement.

I remember thinking awhile ago that it was my body's way to push the cancer out of my system. And, it seems to me, but memory isn't great, that it started moving up and out in February, when we on Mt. Kilaeua, the volcano, in Hawaii. (See, there's a great metaphor - my tumor is erupting from my body - getting its start when I was on the volcano.)

So, I'm trying to think of this thing as my body trying to remove the last vestiges of anger and resentment I may still have over my life. It's a physical manifestation of what is holding me back from stable disease status.

I started visualizing last night that what needs to happen is the herbs and aloe gel and turmeric and everything else, creating a pathway under the skin to begin remove dead and dying cancer cells. It just occurred to me that maybe I should visualize underground lava tubes taking up these cells and washing them away in my body.

You see, I have to visualize the creation of lava tubes, too, because the skin and tissue there has been so damaged and compromised from radiation and surgery. This means that the lymphatic and blood vessel system is scarred, so chemotherapy and targeted treatments can't make their way effectively to the tumor to kill it.

My treatment options for this damn lump are limited because of the compromised tissue. I can't have it radiated again because it has had its life time dose of radiation. Surgery could take out the lump, but it couldn't take out the whole lump, so it would leave a big wound there that would be hard to heal because cancer retards healing. The only thing they suggest is to find a chemotherapy regimen that might work to shrink the tumor. So, I continue with Herceptin and Zometa for that - and I want to add Tykerb to the mix.

That is why I tend to think the only thing that might be effective is a topical treatment - like an ointment to kill the tumor from the skin side, not the lymph/blood side. That is why I've been using this turmeric/mushroom/melatonin concoction on it. I'm going to let the wound care nurse look at it and see what she says. I've been trying to visualize that this concoction is creating a healthy pathway (i.e., lava tubes) to clear away dead cancer cells. And also that the concoction is killing the cancer. It doesn't look like it's grown, actually. Now it needs to shrink. It occurred to me that the tissue underneath was so damaged that maybe it couldn't take away dead cancer cells, so hence the visualization. Maybe the concoction can create a healthy escape hatch so the damn thing can shrink and go away.

I'll keep you posted on this eruption . . .

UPDATE: I saw the wound care nurse who looked at that tumor today. There's a circular area, about 1cm+ round, that's white and superficial. She thought that it might be necrotic tissue. It's not ready to be debrided yet. But I was happy to hear "necrotic", which means it's dying. Right now, I just want the damn thing to die and go away. I also know, however, that it might mean that I end up with a wound there that never heals. I'll deal with that later . . .

Wow - Things Happened Fast

I saw the neurosurgeon today to take out the staples. One thing I asked was about how soon I might be able to have surgery to take the tumor off my chest and what might delay that.

The answer is that radiation delays it.

Then he said that I do have another option to radiation - another surgery to remove that second tumor that is near the top center of my head.

Wow. I didn't see that coming. I wondered if it was operable and why no one ever mentioned it. I guess I didn't ask the right people or even think to ask.

He can do the surgery next week.

I am going to go ahead and get rid of the damn thing. Then I know it's gone. With radiation, we'd have to wait 2+ months to see if it worked. Surgery would let me know almost immediately if they got it all. Then radiation would be a precaution to prevent more growth rather than a necessity to kill what's there.

Wow. My head is still spinning.

But if I get it done next week, then we can contemplate next steps that much sooner, rather than "waiting and seeing". I like that idea. I also get off the steroids and anti-seizure meds sooner, which means I sleep and eat better. I can get back to "normal" sooner rather than later. Also, getting off steroids means wounds heal faster. I can probably get off steroids within a week after this surgery - otherwise, I was looking at another 6 weeks. I already feel better knowing that I will be getting better rest sooner rather than later.

Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday June 1. That will be surgery #3 in two months - April 1, May 20, and June 1. I will be home next Friday, June 3.

Wow.

In the meantime, the wound in my armpit is slowly healing. In fact the largest area that needs skin to grow was 6x8cm (about) on Tuesday and seems to be about 5x4cm today. I even looked at it for the first time in a long time and wasn't traumatized. I think I can even begin changing my own dressing. It's been a long 8 weeks since that surgery happened.

As for the tumor on my chest, I made a paste or concoction using turmeric, my five mushroom blend herb (3 with anticancer properties), and melatonin. I've put it on the last two mornings. When I changed the dressing this morning, the area seemed better. Healthier. Not so raw. Let's hope the anticancer properties in the concoction start shrinking that lump as chemo will have difficulty getting to that area from below because of how badly scarred that tissue is from surgery and radiation. Maybe this topical treatment will take care of things while we take care of the brain issue.

Wow.

Increased Pain and Dad is Still in the Hospital

I've been getting increased pain and am trying to figure out the right dosing schedule to keep me relatively pain free. I take the gabapentin (generic neurotin) in the morning with breakfast then a few hours later, I'll take Tylenol, then gabapentin with lunch, then Tylenol, then I guess I took Tylenol in the evening since gabapentin makes me tired - so I'll take that right before bed and I end up sleeping really well.

I think I may have mentioned that OHSU will not be able to get me in for a surgery until April 22. Since I think the lesions are continuing to grow, 7 weeks seems a long time to wait. So, I decided to try turmeric - I tore apart the capsule and am now sprinkling the spice on my dressing and putting it directly on the wound. I started it last night. We'll see if it makes a difference. I think it might be making it drain less, but I don't know that for sure.

Also, I may have caught some kind of respiratory infection - I seem to be coughing more but usually only after I eat any hint of sugar (even a clementine made me cough) or dairy.

As for my dad, she "crashed" on Friday night - her heart rate went really low (into the teens), so the "rapid response team" came into her room (all 6 of them) and worked on her. Good thing she hadn't come home yet since they could get help to her really fast. She also went low again last night with a heart rate in the 40s. She's also nauseous, probably from the antibiotic (Levaquin - which made me nauseous) and is back to not eating much. The docs decided to give her a permanent pacemaker, which we thought might happen tomorrow, but dad's white blood cell counts are high, so she may have an infection. If so, they don't want to operate until that's under control - they could infect the heart. They are taking blood cultures and doing other lab work to see if she has an infection. They won't know the results until Tues, which means the earliest she could get the pacemaker is Wednesday.

And, so we wait . . .

Loves Acupuncture!

The last couple of days have been kinda tough. I'm worried about the satellite lesions as well as my finances.

As I said in one of my posts yesterday, both the wound care nurse and the surgeon felt that I've plateaued and/or the cancer in the skin in the wound is growing again and that Abraxane may not be as effective as it had been. That's not the kind of news one wants. But it confirmed what I've been feeling for the last week or so. I also feel as if my body is not able to clear the toxins from the chemo as well as it had been - my kidneys were achey as were my leg muscles. So, my acupuncture treatment today was partly geared toward removing the toxins, partly toward giving me energy and partly toward supporting my immune system to fight the tumors. Afterwards, I feel as if a big weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt happy. I actually felt quite chipper. I finished a lot of paperwork at work today - the final report at NSF, the IRB close out, a change of grade for a student whose final paper got lost in email, and I updated my CV. Yay!

I also realized, as I lay on the acupuncture table, why I have been feeling conflicted about talking about my finances. A couple of friends have asked if there was any way they could help. I was not sure how to answer.

On the one hand, my medical expenses have been well over $5,000 this year. This month, for instance, I've spent about $400 in acupuncture treatments. I'll get reimbursed, eventually, about $200 from insurance (they pay 70% of the actual treatment, but not the herbs). But there have been about $60 in unreimbursed acupuncture treatments and $140 in herbs. The five-mushroom blend that I take is about $65 - and three of the mushrooms have anti-cancer properties. There are herbs that help me sleep, help with digestion, boost my immunity, and for energy. I also had my out-of-pocket expenses, plus travel to Seattle (and a couple of trips to Portland for my son), plus I've had to get 2 crowns replaced ($800 out of pocket) because cancer treatment affect the level of saliva in my mouth, which means that bacteria can thrive and so I ended up with cavities under the existing crowns. While I had help with some of my expenses to Seattle, which covered about 2/3 of the expenses, I still had about $750 or more in out-of-pocket expenses. That represents about 12% of my total take-home pay this year. (I just realized one reason why I'm not paying down my HELOC as fast as I might like - a lot of my discretionary money is going toward medical bills.)

On the other hand, I have splurged on myself - buying hats and scarves, taking little trips to the Coast or to Central Oregon, buying myself a Mother's Day gift, etc., stuff for the house. So, obviously I can afford to do those kinds of things which some people might consider to be luxuries, I obviously do not need to ask readers for any donations. In other words, if I scrimped and saved and didn't spend money on things like I have, then maybe I wouldn't be as stressed out about my finances like I am. It's my fault so therefore I should just tighten my belt.

So, when people offer to help me financially, I don't feel like I can ethically accept money from them because if I can afford to buy myself a hat or a pair of pants, then I don't need the money after all. That's why I feel conflicted. Plus, in our society, unless things are really bad, it's not right to ask for money. I am much better off than a lot of people.

This is why I love acupuncture. I feel lighter and happier today. In fact, after my treatment, my left shoulder and upper arm (which had been feeling heavy) felt lighter and healthier. I plan to start putting a turmeric/aloe vera gel paste on the wound since turmeric has anticancer properties. I also realized why I felt conflicted about the finances. I'd like to ask for money, but I don't feel like I should ask for money because I have splurged on myself. Just realizing why I am conflicted makes me feel better! I want to thank my acupuncturist for helping me today! Thanks, Brodie!

Man, having cancer is complicated! Isn't it?

Turmeric/Curcumin Kills Cancer Cells - BBC News

A friend on Facebook posted this link:

"Curry spice kills cancer cells"

I posted some information that I found out about it here. One of my fellow bloggers posted a comment with a link that MD Anderson Cancer Center found that it slowed melanoma growth. I've been taking turmeric for about 18 months now. I think it helps!

Zometa and Zoladex Tomorrow

It's official - I will start Zometa tomorrow. I haven't had a chance to properly discuss this with my doctor as I don't see him for two weeks, but I have done enough on-line research to know that it's probably going to help. I had already scheduled my Zoladex appointment (that's the abdomen injection that shuts down my ovary production) for tomorrow, so I called my doctor's office and asked him if he also wanted to order the Zometa at the same time.

As I understand it, Zometa helps the bone-building process since caner that's metastasized to the bones either takes out or uses some parts of your bones (not sure exactly what the process), giving you less bone mass, or else, it adds extra bone to your bones. But in any case, both tend to weaken your bones and make you more prone to fracture. This helps makes your bones stronger.

There was apparently also some research that says that Zometa helped premenopausal breast cancer patients by making it somewhat less likely that cancer would metastasize to the bone. The reports say by 36%, but it had to do with a study of 1800 patients (I think), in which half got Zometa and half didn't (all were premenopausal, early stage breast cancerpatients). 6% of those on Zometa ended up with bone metastases versus 9% of those who didn't get it. 6% of 900 is 54 patients with Zometa, versus 81 patients without Zometa.

There are side effects (fever, nausea, dizziness, bone and joint pain), but the average percentage of folks who did were relatively low. So, it seems like a good thing to do.

This brings my total western medicine drugs up to four:
Xeloda - an oral chemotherapy
Tykerb - an anti-Her-2-neu targeted therapy
Zoladex - shuts down the ovary production
Zometa - builds bone

And, for acupuncture, I am on the following herbs:
5-mushroom blend - three of which have been scientifically shown to have anti-cancer properties
Paris 7 - a variety of herbs that fight toxic heat with one that may have anti-cancer properties
Gynnostemma - a variety of herbs that helps support your blood and help one of your energy systems

I also take turmeric in pill form (which has helped against melanoma) and also melatonin which helps sleep and which has also been shown to be affective against breast cancer cells in mice.

Take that, nasty cancer!

Treatment Updates

I still haven't started radiation treatments yet. I'm not all that eager to start, but I will do them because there are still a few hard nodules under the skin, which are presumably little tumors growing up from the lymph channels. I may, however, not do the full six weeks, depending on how my body responds to them. When I asked the rad onc about doing less to begin with, her reply was that it would be 3 months before she knew whether or not the radiation treatments worked - in other words, we could do less treatment, but since it takes awhile for everything to settle down, we wouldn't know whether or not there is still cancer there for 3 months. And, if it didn't work, then I'd have to do the radiation treatments again. Medical science just doesn't know or hasn't studied whether doing less would be just as effective as doing more. So, they stick to the standard treatments.

But my thinking is that the medications I'm on - Xeloda and Tykerb - have or are sensitizing the cancer and it will be easier to kill with radiation. I also take a five mushroom pill (3 of which have anticancer properties), melatonin (which has been shown to stop and/or reduce breast tumor growth in mice), and turmeric (shown to be effective for skin disorders and studies have shown it to stop tumor growth in melanoma). So, I guess I think doing a little bit of radiation will tip the balance in my favor - kill the suckers - and then the meds will be able to do their work.

The open skin wound continues to heal. I've recently started putting turmeric paste over a larger area than the original open wound - the skin over the implant was dark - and now the whole area is weeping more. I need to change the dressings twice a day. The way I see it is that my body is expelling the cancer through the fluid drainage.

I don't have as much lymphedema over the right ribs as before - I do some lymph massage everyday - and interestingly, the whole area is fading again. The area was getting redder AND more swollen after I painted my bathroom, so my guess is that a lot of redness is from the lymphedema, not the cancer. But as I said, there are a few little nodules that are little tumors, so I will submit to radiation, too.

Have a good Tuesday everyone!

Turmeric Experiment, Day 22

I keep forgetting to mention that Dr. Kenyon thought that the open wound was indeed healing. The white areas I saw are the upper layers of skin trying to form. I think he was happy that the wound was healing as quickly as it is. I mentioned this to the rad onc the other day - that I have an open wound, that I'm using turmeric and that it seemed like it was working, and her reply was that we may delay radiation for another week to allow the skin to finish healing there. I was relieved that she was willing to do that . . . now if I can just figure out how to keep another open wound from occurring, I'd be really happy!

A sunny day today - yay! Also, I'm meeting with Sara Gelser at 11am to talk about drug repositories, then I'm attending a lunch with a woman who does research(?) on narratives and illness, then a massage at 1:15pm. So, it should be a good interesting day! Have a good one out there!

Side Effects Update

Today is Day 18 on the turmeric experiment. I really believe that the open wound is healing. My ob/gyn thought that it only looked superficial on Friday. Today, it looked like the outside layer of skin is trying to form. I see Dr. Kenyon on Wednesday and will see what he says. I also believe that part of the red rash is fading, although there is one small area that wants to stay red.

On the other hand, I am starting to see more symptoms of hand-n-feet syndrome. The tips of my fingers are cracking, but mostly, all of my fingers are really red and I can no longer tolerate hot showers or washing dishes under hot water. Last week, after walking a lot, I ended up with painful blisters on the balls of my feet (under some small callouses, wouldn't you know?) and it hurt to walk. So, I took myself off of Xeloda on Thurs and Fri in order to let my body recover. My feet seem to be doing okay now, although I can't stand for too long these days.

All in all, though, even with these complaints, my side effects are tolerable. I continue to get good sleep and am staying active with both work and house projects, and helping Eddie at school. Hanging with friends when I can, too! I painted my bathroom this week-end - it's a little wild, but I think I like it. I will post pictures in the next couple of days!

Turmeric Experiment, Day 8

I just had a chance to check on the progress of the open wound and I think that it's healing nicely. The wound doesn't seem as deep as before and most of it looks pink and healthy. Cool, huh?

I reported earlier in the week that my face break-outs are better than before. I noted earlier, I'd upped my dose of Xeloda and I found that my face started to break out a bit more. I cut my dose today, though, so hopefully it clears up!

Happy Sunny Day!

The Turmeric Experiment - Day 6

Hi everyone,
I had a great night's sleep, I finally figured out how to upload the mp3 file for "My Xeloda" onto the previous post with the help of our department secretary Loretta, a colleague is reviewing an article for which my coauthor and I have a final draft, I'm about halfway done with some proposal reviews for NSF, AND I think the skin wound where the skin mets were is healing!

So, it's a great day!

The first few days using the turmeric paste on the skin wound, I wasn't sure what was happening. On Sunday or Monday, I think, I actually felt something - like there was movement or something. I think that the turmeric was drawing out the toxins (which is one of its characteristics) as there was more fluid draining onto my dressing. Today, when I looked at the wound, it seemed that I saw new skin growing there.

In addition to the paste, I started taking turmeric in pill form on Saturday. The interesting thing is that I think it's made a difference in the acne on my face! How cool is that! I'm certainly not breaking out as much.

I also slipped on a yellow stripe on the curb and fell onto the sidewalk on Monday. I scraped my hand - when I got home Monday afternoon, I put the paste on it. It did sting, but later that evening, the band-aid showed that it drew out more stuff from the wound. I'd washed it and it'd stopped bleeding in the morning, but it bled again after putting on the paste. Interestingly, because the area was getting too big for the band-aids, I didn't put the paste on one small area. The next morning when I woke up, it looked red around that area. I figure it was getting infected, so I started putting paste on it.

Also, since taking turmeric in pill form, I think it's also helping the arthritis in my joints. That's another one of its properties, I think, that it helps the connective tissues. I certainly feel less achiness in my joints.

So, thanks to Sunil for sharing some of their turmeric spice and talking about it with me. I guess folks use it all the time in India.

I have great friends and colleagues, don't I? A big thanks this week goes to Heather (for the great song!) and to Sunil, for the turmeric. If the wound is really healing, I can't wait to share the news with Dr. Kenyon!

A Turmeric Experiment and a Joke

As some of you know, I have an open wound where the skin metastases was or is in the lower quadrant of my right breast - left from my point of view and right from yours. (Confused, yeah, me too!) I googled "skin mets healing wound breast cancer" or something and found a bulletin board on breastcancer.org (I think, now I can't find it). One woman with skin mets said she started taking an herb called "cucumin" or "curcumin" in addition to her regular chemotherapy. She reported that her skin mets healed. After some searching, I found a lot of sites about the topic. Curcumin is from turmurec, a root that is used in many curries. Turmeric is used in ayurvedic medicine to heal skin wounds. My colleague, who is from India, gave me some turmeric and a web site that told how to make a turmeric paste (http://www.healthy.net/scr/Recipe.asp?Id=47). I made the paste on Thurs and applied it to the open wound after my shower on Friday. I haven't yet had a chance to check on things today, but I did have a dream last night when I woke up to find the wound completely healed. I will report on its progress over the next few weeks (or hopefully less) and let you know how it works.

While trying to find the original post on breastcancer.org, I found this joke: (http://community.breastcancer.org/topic/31/conversation/702163)
OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and
the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make
the Tennessee Titans?

Thought it had some relevance to my boob jokes research, so I thought I'd share it with you!